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Review:CarolineW says:
Strengths:

You did amazing with your imagery, especially in the first paragraph! I loved this line: “Recognition tickled his senses, and his eyes darted back and forth, taking in the familiar field, the tree with its gnarled branches stretching skyward as if it could reach the heavens.“ It was wonderfully written and paints a beautiful picture in your reader’s mind. I can tell you are a very strong writer and you put a lot of thought into each sentence.

I really like the way you presented the afterlife as a life all its own. It is something unique to your story and could really leave an imprint on a reader’s mind.

Snape and Lily’s relationship is something I’ve always struggled with. Would Lily forgive Severus for calling her a mud blood? Would Severus forgive Lily for choosing James? Those are questions we will never know the answer to, but it is nice to read a story that gives a believable scenario of what could occur if Snape and Lily were ever to meet again.

Weaknesses:

The only thing I found in your story that I didn’t like was the formatting, which says a lot about how well it was written. Instead of using * as separation, use the line feature that HPFF offers. It makes the story look a lot better.

Author's Response: I'm really glad the imagery worked for you. It was fun to write this and get a bit flowery with my prose. I'm not a big Snape/Lily shipper, but in the afterlife that I've designed, it's hard to move on if you're feeling burdened by the weight of your sins. So in order to be happy, you need to forgive and be forgiven. It just happened to work well with this fic.

In regards to the formatting, I actually don't like the line break that HPFF uses. It spans the length of the page and I don't like how it looks. Something simple like how this was divided works better for me. I guess it's just a matter of opinion, but thanks for pointing out that you didn't like it.

Thanks for the thoughtful review. I really appreciated it.


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