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Review:Tonks1247 says:
Ahahahha, this was absolutely great! I love Neville. His character has always fascinated me, yet now thinking of it, this is one of the few fan fiction pieces I have read with him as the main character. But I loved it! Everything about it!

You really give Neville a unique voice and that’s really great. I feel like I know his character very well after only one chapter and it really fascinates me and makes me want to read more. He also has amazing observation skills, which is actually something I can see coming from Neville. He takes in the body language of others, and while he can’t necessarily read where it comes from, he takes note of it. Also, Hugo’s character is great. You do a fantastic job of characterizing him thought your beautiful description and details. And just…I don’t even know what else to say!

I guess I will mention that I like the start of the plot here. At least, I would assume it is the start of the plot, and it really makes me want to read more. I want to know more about this plant and just…Gah! Hopefully I’ll be back to read more soon!

But before I close, I have one line that sounded awkward and then my favorite line and then I’ll be done.

“(but Neville wasn't as powerless to licorice wands as some might lead one to believe)” –This was just awkwardly worded…I know what you’re trying to say but the wording is weird.

"Oh, yeah. Er—is it possibly found anywhere else? Like…in the Forbidden Forest?" –Ahahaha, this line was great. Could he have been any more precise? Hahah!

Great job!


Author's Response: Hello! Thanks so much for your review!

I love Neville obviously and think he has great potential for being the main character of stories. My reasoning for this all comes out in later chapters so I'll spare you for now ;)

Hugo was a bit of a mystery even to me when I started writing this. You know I've said this before but I forget where--anyway, I started this story and its first two chapters (prologue included) a year before I came back and finished the rest. I think you can see that but also within that time the ideas of these characters really crystalized for me.

You will DEFINITELY find out more about the plant. Neville isn't a herbology professor for nothing! And yes, Hugo has to learn a little bit about pointed questions lol.

Ah, the awkwardness. I can see that it's a bit stiff. I was generally going for the whole early twentieth-century vibe, so some of my sentences get wordy / confusing. I'm not sure if I really want to change too much, though. It's sort of a reminder of what my writing was like two years ago :) If you had said that the meaning was completely lost for you I'd be a bit more concerned, if you know what I mean!

THANK YOUUU so much for the lovely review! I hope that you will stop by again, and I really appreciate you telling me your thoughts :)

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