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Review:ScorpiusRose17 says:
Hi there!

Well first of all I must say that this is a great one-shot. I thought your characters were definitely original and interesting. I really liked Geraldine. She is a great character with a good head on her shoulders, but is lost after the passing of her Mom. I thought her sister was braty and selfish. Which bounced off of Geraldine to balance them out quite nicely. Her sister is quite mean though. I could honestly say that I could feel her yelling that she wished she(Geri) had died instead of their Mom. It was quite a hurtful moment there, but I liked how Geri handled herself and realized what she had been missing. I didn't like that Barry Ryan one bit. He was a sleezy boy.

I thought you did a brilliant job describing the story as well. It was all very vivid and easy to imagine. Right down to that stinky cigarette. ;)

The flow was great. I did find a couple of things that I wanted to point out to you and get your opinion on...

"I guess you have something for you sis here,"

I think the second you should probably be a your?

"She couldn’t deal it, she was too fragile, too innocent, only 15. He would break her heart."

This one is missing the word with between deal and it.

"I think the sorting hat made a big mistake on your part, because you certainly don’t fall into any of those criteria’s,"

This one sounded weird to me when I read it the second time out loud. I don't know if it's the word criteria's? Or if it should be changed to something like Categories?


Overall, I really liked this One-shot. I think you are an amazing writer and everything that you write is so wonderfully thought out. You are great at being able to take someones mind and fully captivate it with your words. I loved your characters, the plot, and the message that it sends out.

Keep up the great work! =)

-SR17

P.s. I am going to favorite this story!

Author's Response: Hey there!

Thank you so much for this kind review.

I'm glad you liked the characters. I had so much trouble with them since they kept developing all the time and this story almost ended up being reaaally long d:

Thanks. Descriptions are always something I worry about, so it's nice to here they are working (:

Thanks, I'll correct those when I have the time (:

Phew, I'm just glad you liked it. I was so nervous since it was the first one I've ever written and my plots always tend to develop so much that it was hard to keep it as a one-shot.

Aww ♥ thanks

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