Report a Review

This service is designed to allow HPFF users to alert the staff about inappropriate reviews.

Review:Shannona says:
Hey, I really like the way you have begun the story and this chapter is good because you have all the relatioships down and established. What I would say is that is does feel a little too structed but nothing can really be done about that. What I really want to see is a change in Sirius as he realises he does like Cora and this could maybe effect the relationship between the marauders for a while. I think the no boys pact is a good thing to introduce this early as you have given yourself a lot of room to play around with it. i think i would also like both lily and cora to start messing around with boys behind each others backs (maybe doing different P.O.V chapters) as this will bulk out the story and gives more subplots. I would say more speech is needed though as thoughts are great but as its only cora p.o.v we don't really get to know what the others are thinking. Really great start though. Good work!! P.S about the grammar and spelling I always find that it's best to write your story in a word document and then just copy and paste. This way you have spell and grammar check and your stories are saved somewhere other than just a website if you ever needed them in the future. Good luck!

Author's Response: Thanks, the review really helped. I think chapter 4 or maybe 5 might be in either Lily's or Sirius' P.O.V. hope you stick around for the next chapter, i thought i posted last week.

Your Name:
Reason for this Report:

  • The review is offensive.
  • The review is spam or chit-chat (not actually a review).
  • The review was double posted.
  • The review has formatting problems.
Repeat the number: 905
Submit Report: