Report a Review

This service is designed to allow HPFF users to alert the staff about inappropriate reviews.

Review:magnolia_magic says:
Hi! Maggie here with your review!

I really, really enjoyed this. It's a beautiful story from a point of view I've never seen before. I think this is a very creative take on a time at Hogwarts that we don't get to see in the books.

Your description is lyrical and just gorgeous, especially when you talk about the stars and what they mean to Susan. The first paragraph completely drew me in! I could feel Susan's wonder as she looked up at the sky. That whole element of the story makes this piece stand out :)

Speaking of Susan, I love her as a character. I'm so used to reading about heroic, courageous people in this time period, and it's great to get a different sort of perspective. Susan's fear and reluctance to show her stance on the war makes her very relatable, and she just seems like a sweet and likeable girl. And I liked seeing her stand up to the Carrows at the end--even though she's afraid, she steps up to do the right thing when it's really needed.

I will say that I was a little distracted by some grammar issues here and there. Mostly I noticed places where you need commas, or where the commas were misplaced. And also, when you have a quote within a quote (the paragraph that begins, "And what will you do if you run into the Carrows?"), the inside quotation should have single quotes instead of double.

I think the relationship between Susan and Hannah is really well done. They are clearly very close friends, but tension is running high between them because of their differing values. You do a great job of showing that, and I also like your characterization of Hannah. She seems like a very passionate person, and she complements Susan's personality really well :)

This is a great piece! It definitely stands out from any other story I've read, and I'm so glad I read it. Keep up the good work! :)

--Maggie

Author's Response: I CAN'T BELIEVE I HAVEN'T RESPONDED TO THIS!! I'm so sorry, my mind must have been off in lala land or something.

I've always been interested in seeing what Hogwarts was like in that final year. It would have been really intense and hard i presume. Especially for the kids who were so opposed to the Carrow's actions. But i don't feel like it is explored enough in ff. So i'm so pleased that you enjoyed this little window into their lives and found it realistic.

Lyrical? bah! You make me blush! Thank you. I don't really know where that came from, i just wrote the sentence look at the stars as the first line and somehow this story sort of snowballed from that.

I've always really liked Susan and i feel like her back story is so intense and deep that i'd love to explore her more one day. It just seemed logical to me that she'd be a little more hesitant about the whole thing because her whole family is basically dead. She's one of the last ones and her death could been the destruction of her family name. I'm glad that the struggle shone through though and that her inner battle was realistic as well ;D

Thank you again for all of your words and kindness! I will definitely look through it to fix some of those problems you mentioned! :D Cheers

-zayne



Your Name:
Reason for this Report:

Examples:
  • The review is offensive.
  • The review is spam or chit-chat (not actually a review).
  • The review was double posted.
  • The review has formatting problems.
Repeat the number: 905
Submit Report: