Report a Review

This service is designed to allow HPFF users to alert the staff about inappropriate reviews.

Review:Beeezie says:
Here with your 3/3 reviews for the Unquiet Mind challenge!

I have mixed feelings about this chapter. I think that where you're taking the story is interesting, but I feel like you really rushed through a lot of this. There were a lot of things that happened in the chapter, and I wished that you'd slowed down a bit. In particular, the scene with his grandmother felt like it could have been slowed down a bit, and the scene in the Ministry could have used a lot more detail. I was also a bit confused about how easy it seemed to be for him to find a job when it sounded like he'd been trying in the past and hadn't been successful.

Part of the issue for me was also the very abrupt changes in mood. At first, Teddy was unhappy and avoiding everyone. Then suddenly he was job hunting and seemed to be in pretty decent spirits, all things considering. I wanted more detail, more explanation of how he got from point A to point B.

That's not to say that I don't like what you've done with the overarching plot, because I do! I was afraid that you would just have Teddy stuck in the rut forever, but I think that you've picked an absolutely appropriate amount of time to start to move him out of it. If you continue this, I'm sure you won't make everything all better immediately, but I do think that many more chapters of him just moping around his house would have gotten a little dull.

I also think that the fascination he has with time turners and the Department of Mysteries is something you can definitely use to explain how he starts to move out of his own head. That can make a huge difference when nagging and good intentions from the people around you can.

On the whole, another interesting chapter. :) Good job!

Author's Response: I'm so sorry that I hadn't responded to this sooner. I know it's been over a year and all but I honestly don't know why it took me so long to respond.

Looking back at it now I realise how true everything you've said is. Obviously, I need to do some serious work on this chapter- I think I got stuck in too much of a rut and it just wasn't working out for me.

Thank you so much for this review and again I'm so sorry for not responding sooner!

x Ely


Your Name:
Reason for this Report:

Examples:
  • The review is offensive.
  • The review is spam or chit-chat (not actually a review).
  • The review was double posted.
  • The review has formatting problems.
Repeat the number: 402
Submit Report: