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Review:Gray Raven says:
Hey... I've been wanting to read your work for sometime and now I'm finally able to...

Wow. this story is beautifully written. I'm not sure where I should begin my review but let me just start by saying that this story is that kind of story where you (well, me) need your full attention. Because if not, you'll just get lost. That is mainly because you did not reveal everything until the very end. And you had to use 'she' when referring to Lucy. It's just sometimes I was confused whether the 'she' referred to the girl she mentioned at the early part (which at the end turn out to be Lucy) or her mother. The example for this is the paragraph after Molly's mom asked her if she was okay. You begin the sentence with "She probably thought this whole thing was a laugh and would probably come to my flat tonight..." I still thought it refers to her mother but that doesn't make too much sense because why would she think the whole thing was a laugh when she clearly didn't show it on the previous paragraphs. Then of course I know I was mistaking her to that girl (Lucy).

A tiny mistake I spotted: "Lucy couldnít be gone; her light was just too bright and I could[=b] still her [b]reflection in my eyes". I think you're missing a "see", no?

I gotta say, I have no clue what or where this scene is happening until almost the end of the chapter. Everything was tied together after she said "The three of us. Such an incomplete number." I know by that time that it was a funeral, and it's her sister's funeral... So, I re-read the story again and everything made more sense. I could really see how Molly felt like dreaming. I've lost a loved one before and It sure does felt like that. I think you captured the emotion well.

And despite the confusion one might find when reading this story, you wrapped it up very nicely at the end. And as for me, I felt very fulfilled... it's like reading a mystery novel where you tried to tied everything together and figure out the most important clue and the reasons behind everything. And when you finally got it you're like "man!" and light bulb seemed to really be popping out inside our head. Very nice indeed...

I realize this is not a one shot (though this would also qualified as a very good one shot), so I would be looking forward to reading more of this.

Gray Raven,
Hufflepuf

Author's Response: Hi,

thank you so much for your review!! I'm shocked that you've wanted to read my work, if you want to call it that, for a while. But i'm glad you chose this one. It's a new project and it's near and dear to my heart.

yeah, this is definitely a confusing start because we're looking through Molly's eyes and she is doesn't really understand what's going on either. None of it makes sense to her so i'm glad that feeling really portrayed well.

I've had another review saying they were confused whether that she was her mum and I'll look over that to make sure it's clear because i don't think i want that to be confused.

yes, i meant see, *blushes* thanks for pointing that out.

Losing a loved one is hard and i really wanted to capture the feelings that might be felt in those moments. I've lost people as well and I just tried delving into those really raw emotions. I'm glad you felt they were spot on because i wasn't sure if it would translate over screen. Thank you so much for your thoughts and words!


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