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Review:CambAngst says:
Tagging you from the Review the Person Above You thread in the common room.

For a first chapter, I thought this was really well done. You provide just enough information to draw the reader into the story, but you didn't beat me over the head with a huge amount of exposition. It took me a while to even figure out that Julianna was even having a baby, let alone that something was wrong with the child. But the was you started out the story, with the horrible storm and the dark, overbearing conditions, were so ominous and telling that you sucked me right in without having to reveal a thing.

The chapter leaves a lot of unanswered questions that I hope the rest of the story is going to explore. Who is Jeremy and why was Julianna's family so opposed to their relationship? Why would Julianna's parents have been happy to believe that their grandchild was stillborn? What terrible things does the Ministry do with squib children? And why did Julianna have to flee from her family?

The baby's name was very pretty, and Eleanor and Gary seem like they're going to be really good parents. I wonder what life will be like for little Evie, and how she'll eventually find out the truth.

Your writing is very nice. I didn't see any typos or spelling or grammar problems. You balanced narrative and dialog really well and I loved the way you were able to gradually paint a picture of Julianna's surroundings.

I have to agree with the competition you won. There's a huge amount of potential here. I'll be keeping an eye out for this story in the future!

Author's Response: Hi! Sorry I haven't replied to this until now, life is busy these days...

I'm so glad you liked it! This chapter recently underwent a 'revamp' of sorts, so it's great that you felt it was really ominous. There are indeed a lot of questions, some of which are explained soon and others which may take even into the sequel. I haven't decided yet!

I'm glad you liked my writing and the chapter, thank you for reviewing!

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