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Review:forsakenphoenix says:
This new girl has certainly got me intrigued with her whole femme fatale looking going on, and yet her casual mention of seeing Scorpius on the cover of Witch Weekly. I love Al's narrative in this story, how he just goes off for like a paragraph and then he's just like, "I digress." He's such a solidly funny character, very self-entitled sometimes, I think, and it's fantastic.

The bit about how she could possibly assume that him and Scorpius were at the hotel for a hook-up had me in stitches. I love the pairing, but it's kind of hilarious to see a version where it could be implied they are in a relationship and Al is completely against the idea. He's certainly made Scorpius look like lady's man, though, that's for sure. Too bad he couldn't unleash that charming personality of his on this girl.

I kind of miss Scorpius, though I was really amused when the girl re-silenced him after listening to him go off. I love Al, don't get me wrong, but I really adore their banter the most, and I kind of miss it.

Al jinxed himself when he said bad things come in threes! I can only assume the whole bomb thing is the third bad thing. I'm glad there's still a couple more chapters so I don't have to wait in anticipation to find out what happens next.

Two corrections:

He was an conceited - 'an' = 'a'

but as the preferred to conquer the female sex, - 'the' = 'he'

Great update! I'm really enjoying this story, a lot. You should write humor/parody more often. :)

Author's Response: I'm so glad that you like both the girl and Al's narrative. There were a lot more of his digressions initially, but people said that it was overdoing things, so I've limited myself to one per chapter. He's a wordy guy, this Albus, and keeps going off on tangents - makes me wonder why he didn't become a professor rather than an auror. :P It makes these chapters easier to write, though, because he does have such a strong narrative voice.

There is a bromantic element to this story, and Albus will change his views... if only a little. I couldn't resist including that assumption because it comes up way too often, both in fiction and real life, as though two people of the same sex couldn't possibly spend time in the same room without it being scandalous - Al sees it as ridiculous. Yet at the same time, he does feminize Scorpius to alarming extent, and I'm still not quite sure where I want to take that - is it just jealousy that Scorpius is having an easier time in the department? does he feel threatened by Scorpius? It may add some interesting angle to Al's character. ;)

You're not the first person to miss Scorpius in this chapter. XD I'm amazed at how much readers enjoyed his banter with Albus, not to mention the effect of silencing a character in a humour story - perhaps I should have made Scorpius pull a Charlie Chaplin and do all sorts of clever miming acts, that would have been funny. :P But a lot of this story relies on the two characters working in tandem, so I agree that it caused an imbalance.

Thank you so much for reading and reviewing this story, Missy! I've fixed those typos you pointed out, too - thank you for mentioning them. ^_^


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