Hi apocalypse! I'm here with your review, and it's so good to be back! :)
First off, I think you handled the situation between Chris and Lily beautifully. And I have to take Chris's side in their argument. Even though Lily feels guilty and it's not really her fault, Chris is right to be upset about James's behavior. That said, I like how you don't make either one of them the villain here. That's very consistent with each of their characters, I think :)
Characterization wise, I think my favorite part of the chapter is James's POV as he watches Lily. His thoughts are very touching, and they show a wonderful, non-jerk side of James. I think you've shown us a great moment in his character development. His irrational hatred of Chris is still there (which is to be expected...he is James, after all :P), but I really get the sense that Lily is more important to him than anything else. Great job with him here! (And as a James-hater, that's so wierd for me to say!)
Harry and Ginny seem to be on much better terms than they have in the past, which makes sense to me. After all, Harry did go all out to reconcile with her in the last chapter :) However, Harry did have a characterization moment that felt a little off: I just can't see him ever, EVER neglecting his work. Him forgetting to check up on Xenon and his informant seems very implausible to me.
While I was reading, I saw some repetitive phrases that distracted me. For instance, "He took it all in, drinking it all in." In general, you want to be extra careful to avoid using the exact same words close together that way.
In the past few chapters, I've noticed how much your dialogue has improved since the beginning of this story! When I first started reading this, I thought the dialogue sounded a little stiff, but in this chapter it sounds so much more natural and smooth. Props for that! :)
And can I just say, you are the MASTER of cliffhanger endings! You have such a knack for cutting off at just the right time. This ending makes me want to beg you for a new update as soon as possible! (No pressure or anything, right?) I need to know what the Slytherins are up to, and especially what Sirius is going to do to screw things up. I think you've got a great talent for keeping your readers hooked :)
Thank you so much for the awesome shout-out! You are amazing! And actually, I gave you a shout-out in my status on the forums before coming to read this. I just thought that was funny :)
Thanks for the request! Be sure and let me know when the next update comes :)
Author's Response: Hey! Well, thanks for coming back Maggie! Your reviews are always a delight =)
Yay! I was afraid that I went a little overboard with the yelling; I wanted to keep it minimum considering it was Chris yelling, so I'm glad that I was able to pull that off. I tried to keep the scene neutral and not really go against their characters so it's really assuring to know that you think that I could job with it! Thanks!
Aw, man, you're a James-hater? I didn't know that! Wow, then I guess that it's a pretty big compliment what you just said about James =P Yayay! I'm so glad that you liked his character! I've wanted to lessen his jerkness for so long; I'm glad I found the right moment. Actually, my favourite part was James' POV too =D
Eh, I knew I'd messed up Harry's part somehow! Thanks for telling me that! I hadn't realised that it was that out of character; I'm gonna change that when I edit the story completely. Though I also think that it was sort of necessary to make him have all those feeling. I think I'll just come up with something else.
I really was very careful with the sentences in this chapter; I'm very very happy to know that the dialogue has improved! Yahhooo! =P =D Thank you thank you thank you!
Hehehe! MASTER! Aaaah, that means so much to me, you have no idea! Thanks for saying that! I love writing cliffhangers =P Haha, well I'm trying to help Sirius mess things up right now. Don't worry, whatever he'll do won't be very bad ;) Oho, the Slytherins! Ah, I can't really tell you anything; I guess you'll just have to read on! =P
Your welcome! I realised I had to do more than just thank you for your amazing help! So, I put in this shoutout! Ahaha, I just saw yours too; thanks for that! It's so funny how we did it for each other without the other person knowing; I really love when stuff like this happens =D
Thanks for the amazing review! Don't worry, you're always the first one I inform! =D