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Review:ScorpiusRose17 says:
This is really an amazing story. I liked how it was done from Penelope's point of view then Percy's. I felt the angst build as the story went on and I gasped when Percy saw the gash in her back.

I think you characterized them both really well. A woman involved in a war no matter the how honorable the fight, is still a scared girl at heart. I think you showed that really well in her thoughts and in her final moments. Percy was intense. He was holding his dead brother Fred and never even knew that he was being watched upon from afar. Yet he was there and he brought her with him. He changed. Which I thought you wove in well. You even mentioned Remus which gave it that feeling of real characters no matter how good they are at a certain skill (his teaching defense) can still be gone in an instant.

I could just imagine what the picture she took must have looked like. It was almost like a large painting and your words were the paint and brush. It was vivid in my mind.

I did notice a couple of things that I will mention then give a suggestion about. I think your Grammar is ok. I'm not really good at grammar myself, but from what I can see it's not bad at all. Okay...

"Perhaps she realise that people called me Penny,"

This sentence sounds off I think maybe if you used she'll instead of the she?

"I could never live with the knowledge of standing by whilst all those bodies fell to the hard stone floor of the castle.I had to leave."

Spacing issue castle. I

"worked. Then he saw a black object beside where she had lain."

Spacing issue worked. Then

Overall, I thought that this was an excellent story about two characters that usually blend into the background and you brought them beautifully to the fore front.

If you have anything else that you would like reviewed I would be more than happy to read and review it.

Keep up the great work! =)

-SR17

P.s. I am going to favorite this story.

Author's Response: Thank you so much for the amazing review hun ♥ ♥ ♥
This was the sweetest review, thank you so much for the comments on my typos and stuff! I'll be sure to fix that up in my next edit sweep.
All your stuff was so nice. This review made my day. No MONTH.
Charlie
xxx


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