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Review:Aderyn says:
Hello! I'm here again with your review. Sorry, sorry for the wait. I was going to be productive, and then the archives went down, and then today I was just feeling lazy. But anyways...

I enjoyed this chapter as well. You've done a lot more to set up the characters, which is great. I feel like they're even more distinct now. The scene at the beginning definitely shows more of how the girls all act together. I like the teasing of Alice about Frank- I always thought that they were adorable as a couple.

The Marauders are the right amount of annoying and funny. They joke and say obnoxious things without being cruel, which, with the exception of Snape, seemed to be their style. If I didn't know that most of the guys were taken/will be taken, I would say that Mel was going to get together with one of the Marauders, since they banter so much. But I think that could be because of her being on the Quidditch team with James.

Which brings me to the next thing I was going to mention. It's interesting that Keira can play Quidditch and well, according to Mel. I don't know why she didn't play before now, there's probably a reason, but it'll be interesting to see her try out, and maybe get the position. I like Mel's response to Keira's complaints about being invisible, if it works, it'll change things.

Also, I totally understand where Keira is coming from when she's talking about feeling invisible. I had been at a school for four years, and people were asking me if I was new. And it wasn't even a large school... Well, that's what I get for being a bit shy around people I don't know...

Again, great job with the comedy so far. Levi is funny, and reminds me a lot of Crookshanks, though I think that's intentional. It was nice to see Keira interact with Lily. And the part with Abra the house-elf worked well too. A question though- isn't Lily head girl? I think you called her a prefect somewhere in this chapter.

I'm glad you brought up the war that's going on. As a Muggle born, it is something Keira should be worried about. Though I can see how, at Hogwarts, it would be easy for the whole thing to seem distant.

Anyways, I think I've run out of things to say, and also this review is getting way too long. This story seemed to move the plot ahead a little bit, in terms of Keira being told to try out for seeker, and maybe also her chatting with Lily. But other than that, I didn't catch much else about the overarching plot. Since this is an introductory chapter, and still is establishing characters that's fine, but hopefully you start introducing more elements in the next chapters. Also, when is Henry showing up?

Okay. Now I'm -really- done talking. XD I don't have time to read more now, but feel free to rerequest when there's a spot in my queue. I'm interested to see what happens next :D

Author's Response: Meep. I'm here finally to reply. So sorry it's taken to long; it's been a long week and it's only Wednesday... :/

Anywho! Thank you so much for this, it's absolutely wonderful feedback, and you're right, i'll go fix up that bit about Lily being Prefect/Head Girl etc. My bad.. :S

Thank you for the wonderful compliments though. It's so nice to hear people say nice things about my writing. ^_^

Henry turns up in the next chapter! I'll re-request ASAP so you can meet him :P And there are a few things in the next few chapters coming up that will hopefully help the plot along...

Thanks again for the review, and i'll get on Vital ASAP. ^_^

- Adele.



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