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Review:academica says:
Hello! I'm here from the TGS Review Exchange :) Also, this marks my 600th review. You've helped me meet a personal goal!

I really loved the way you set the scene here. Your vivid descriptions really made my skin crawl, and I could feel the fear and hatred that your main character felt as the events unfolded. It was interesting to see the other characters through her eyes, as she's obviously got a bias against many of them. This was a really mysterious beginning, and I think you've done a good job of balancing the fact that your reader has questions (How did she get to this point? Why is she becoming a Death Eater, since it does seem like that is what is happening?) with the need to draw the reader in and make him or her want to proceed onward to the next chapter.

I think the flow of this chapter is very nice, and I didn't spot any major errors with regard to spelling, grammar or punctuation. There was one tiny thing I wanted to point out; where you say "now that... I looked into his metal face - I could agree with", it should probably be two dashes on either side of 'I looked into his metal face', not an ellipsis and a dash. That makes more sense and it would be symmetrical.

Very nice work! I'm glad I got to exchange with you :)

Amanda
green with envy 2012

Author's Response: oh yahh 600!! I'm so honoured ;D

Thank you, i'm glad i was able to read your story as well, i don't read a lot of Teddy/Victoire and you wrote them so well!

Anyway, thank you for your comments, i really wanted to explore what it might have been like for a character sort of coerced into joining them and how that would have affected them. You know how Hargrid? Or Dumbleodore? I'm not sure who said it, but someone was talking about how back in those days there was more dark than light and may people being blackmailed into joining. I don't see this a lot in fanfiction and i really wanted to explore it. It's so great to hear that the emotions and the description were here! Thanks you so much for your comments!

-zayne


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