Report a Review

This service is designed to allow HPFF users to alert the staff about inappropriate reviews.

Review:Roots in Water says:
It's Roots in Water here with your review!

First, let me begin by saying that I think that you did a great job of exploring the change in Remus' feelings and thoughts throughout this one-shot. You took the time to fully explore each of the stages- his initial reluctance, his fear at being rejected, his certainty that he was a monster- and work through them. You explored many of the possible arguments and made his feelings realistic enough that it was easy to understand why Remus had left in the first place and why Tonks was accepting him back now.

Furthermore, I definitely got the sense that Remus felt guilty and regretted leaving Tonks, so he was, in a sense, sorry for his actions. As well, you certainly explained his change in thought very well.

The ending was especially clear and well-thought out. I liked the way in which you wrote Tonks' fire and her determination and I think that her initial coldness followed by her irritated state was appropriate with the situation: Remus had left her, alone and pregnant, and then come back still convinced that he was a monster, even after many people had told him he wasn't. Furthermore, I think that you did a great job of attacking his fear from multiple angles, thus making it believable when Remus accepted that he was human, that he was, after all, more than just a werewolf.

As for your characterization, I think that you write Remus and Tonks very well. Remus was hesitant, anxious to do the right thing and you were spot on with his fears about being a werewolf. Tonks was cold and yet passionate, the impression I always got of her in the books. However, I hit a snag with your characterization of her parents. Though they played a (very) minor role in the books, I got the sense that they were gentler and kinder than you portrayed them here. I understand that they are angry on their daughter's behalf but I would have thought that in their anger they would have turned bitingly cold in their comments instead of using violence and shouted remarks to show their displeasure. That could, however, just be my opinion. :)

As well, I loved your ending. It was the perfect conclusion to the story and I especially liked the way you linked the last sentence back to the beginning. The sentence seemed fitting because it lends a sense of hope about the future but it also could be hinting at their deaths.

All in all I enjoyed reading this one-shot and I think that you did a great job of exploring Remus' feelings and the reasons why he came back to Tonks after he was rejected by Harry. Thanks for requesting and I hope that my comments are helpful (and that I covered everything you asked about)!

Author's Response: Firstly, thanks so much for taking my request! I really appreciate it! Thanks so much.

I am really relieved that you thought I characterised Lupin and Tonks well. I find Tonks hard to write so I am glad you like her, and that she did not come across overly weak or hysterical either, because to be honest, I never pictured her like that myself. I am also glad you liked Lupin and that you felt he worked through a lot of issues here. I was slightly anxious about whether or not I had succeeded in making him overcome his inner demons really here. So I am very glad you thought I did ok on that front :)

I am also glad that you loved the ending. I was not 100% sure if it was convincing enough, so I am really relieved you thought it was! yay! :)

With regards to Tonks's parents, yeah, I know what you mean. I was a bit unsure about their characterisation to be honest with you. I think Andromeda only had two lines in the books, where is our daughter? What happened to Nymphadora? (or something along those lines anyhow), and there was that and Sirius's comment that Andromeda was his favourite cousin. It's not much to go on really. With Ted there is a little more, especially since he does most of the talking when Harry crashes in the garden, then there is the overheard scene with the Goblins, Dean and Dirk in the forest too. I think you have a point that they are definitely much less cold and more mellow than I showed them here. But then I figured that Lupin had Tonks in a seriously depressed state for nearly a year, when he refused to be with her, then he changes his mind, marries her and then leaves her when she is pregnant. He's done an awful lot of damage there if you ask me, and as her parents they couldn't really do anything to help her here and it must have been awful to sit helpless and watch your daughter be miserable. I was also thinking of Hermione attacking Ron with the birds in Half-Blood Prince, and how in Deathly Hallows she wanted her wand back off Harry so she could curse Ron when he reappeared. Then there was that fact that Dora was Andromeda and Ted's only daughter, only child, so they would naturally be overprotective, she is all they have. Then there was Lupin saying that Tonks's parents were "disgusted" by their marriage (then again Lupin might have been overdramatic...). So I thought that maybe, all that considered their reactions here were justified...? But yeah, I'm not entirely convinced by that argument myself... I think I'll go back and re-write that part, I'll still have Ted punch Remus (just because I think it sets up the encounter with Tonks in a way that works for me, because instead of seeing him and screaming the way Hermione did when Ron returns, she sees his nose is broken and the sight of that quells some of that initial anger, and makes the conversation less heated, if that makes any sense), but maybe change it so that the punch was done in a moment when Ted lost all control, and afterwards he is surprised and shocked by what he had done. Then with Andromeda, maybe have her fire spells in Lupin's direction, but make it obvious that she never meant to hit him with them, but merely scare him anyway. Does that sound better to you? It means that they are more protecting Tonks, then releasing their rage and attacking Lupin. That sounds more parent-like to me. What do you reckon? I think it sounds better to me anyhow...

Thank you so much for the review, I really did find it very helpful, especially where Ted and Andromeda are concerned and I'm going to do a bit of a re-write now! So cheers for your help there. I really appreciate that! Thank you! :)


Your Name:
Reason for this Report:

Examples:
  • The review is offensive.
  • The review is spam or chit-chat (not actually a review).
  • The review was double posted.
  • The review has formatting problems.
Repeat the number: 171
Submit Report: