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Review:watchoutfornargles says:
Hi :) I think this sentence "This was the hour that Voldemort had allowed the defenders of Hogwarts." needs to be changed. I get the meaning, but it kind of seems like a sentence fragment at first glance. Maybe you should clarify, like "This was the hour that Voldemort had allowed the defenders of Hogwarts to surrender, etc." When Harry is talking to Hermione, like your previous one-shot, a lot of the sentences are short and choppy. I usually hate Hermione/Harry, but you did it in an okay way. The cliffhanger made me sad though :P

Author's Response: Reading it again with this review in mind, you are right. I'll change that sentence. Thanks for the review. See you in the forums.

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