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Review:ScorpiusRose17 says:
This is a great one-shot. I find it very believable and convincing. I could see Remus being exactly like this when he returns and I could see Dora's parents being this way as well upon his arrival.

I do think that you do have some redundancy throughout, but I felt that it was important for you to be redundant to get your point fully across the way you wanted to. I don't know if that is what your feeling is off or making it seem off.

The characterization is done wonderfully. You play into the insecurities that Remus has about his lycanthropy, being seen as a monster and fear of the unknown for his unborn child. Ted and Andromeda were done well to. I could totally see them as parents wanting to protect their daughter in the way that they did. I also like how you hinted at Andromeda's resemblence to her sister Bellatrix. Dora was wonderfully characterized as well. She has always seen past the werewolf and sees Remus for who he truly is despite his insecurities. She understands him on another level.

When you get to the end and Dora takes Remus back I do feel that Remus has grown as a character. You can see subtle changes in him (which for him he doesn't need huge changes the subtle ones work best with him) It has to do with him being a werewolf and logical all at the same time. The ending is very believable and I can see him and Dora both accepting the unknown together.

I did find one sentence that was a bit confusing that I wanted to point out to you...
"These sounds pulled him from his thoughts, bringing him out of memory bang-smack back into reality again"

After I read it out loud it seemed a bit confusing. I think that maybe you were going for smack-bang?

Overall, I think that this is an amazingly wonderful, well thought out One-shot of a part that we never get to hear about. You took it and ran with it and it was really written beautifully.

I would love to read more of your work!

Keep up the great work! =)

-SR17

Sorry it took me awhile to get to this. Usually I am faster.

Author's Response: Sorry it took me so long to reply, the archive was down so I wasn't able to log-in to reply!

Thank you so much taking my request, I really appreciate your feedback, just because I have a feeling this story isn't going to get reviews, so it's good to know what you find it convincing and believable (I was just a little worried on that front, and if people don't review, then I don't know if I got it right or not!)

Also, I'm not entirely sure what you mean by "Some redundancy throughout". Sorry! If you have time, and if you don't mind (and you don't have to if you don't want to, it's grand), could you just send me a quick PM in the forums giving me an example of a piece of redundancy in this fic? Just so I know for future reference in case I do it again in a different fic. I'll believe you here when you say it helped me get my point across, because to be honest I don't entirely understand what you mean... sorry!

I am so glad you thought the characterisation was OK. I find Tonks really hard to write so the very fact that you found her convincing is a huge relief. I'm glad also that you liked Ted and Andromeda's reactions; I was a bit unsure whether or not to have Ted punch Remus, because he seems so mellow in the books, but then I thought, Tonks is his daughter, his only daughter, only child, and Remus walked out on her when she was pregnant, so I kinda figured, all that considered, that he would punch Remus, you know?

I'm relieved you thought the ending was convincing, I was a bit unsure on it myself. So thank you so much for putting me at ease there! I really appreciate that!

That's funny about the phrase you pointed out, I'm Irish and here we say "bang-smack", not "smack-bang", but I think I will remove the phrase entirely, I don't want to be confusing the reader. So cheers for pointing that out to me!

Thank you so much for the review, you really made my day! Thank you so much, and here, don't worry about taking a while to get the review done, to be honest with you I thought you were really quick actually, so don't worry about that! Thanks so much again.

TLM :-)


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