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Review:ScorpiusRose17 says:
This is a really unique prologue. I haven't read anything about Ariana Dumbledore before so this is quite interesting to see things from her view point.

I think that the flow of this chapter is done wonderfully. Usually when I read a chapter for flow I look for words that seem out of place, typos that make me stumble while reading or sentences/phrases that just don't fit with the rest of the piece. (Just so you know) I didn't see or find any of those problems here.

Your characterization of Ariana is nice and has a lofty feel to it that is still childish, but being caught in between and ushering others on plays right into the life she had while alive. She was living a happy life until that fateful day and she was trapped in her own mind.

The descriptiveness paints a wonderful, vivid picture in my mind so it is easy to see what you are talking about.

I really like this and I can't wait to see where you take it from here. Keep up the good work! =)


Author's Response: Wow, this is some seriously high praise :D

As you may have seen in the author's note, this is a companion piece to another story I wrote. She was a minor character in that, still in the same role, and acting as a guide to the main character. She was always different from all the other characters I wrote in this world, because she ages. So in my mind I knew even back when I wrote that story that Ariana was different. So now I'm writing this, I have the chance to explore the unexplained character.

I'm glad you thought the flow was good! I worry that the description can be a bit heavy to read, but I know it's necessary to set the scene.

Thank you so much :)

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