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Review:Aderyn says:
Hi!

This was a pretty decent start to the story, you certainly added lots of suspense. There's also a lot of foreshadowing that probably sets up later action in the story.

I think you could have a bit more characterization in this chapter. There's so much dialogue, you don't stop for descriptions. Try to give your reader a clearer picture of the setting and of your characters. It will also help create more interest in what happens in your story.

I think with more detail, this chapter would be great, just try to flesh things out a bit. This may be the prologue but its still important. Good luck!

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