Hello, my name is Charlotta and Iíll be your reviewer for today :)
A minor pairing! Nice! Iím interested in reading this only because I think Iíve read two stories from Dominiqueís point of view and one from Lysanderís. Being Next Gen thereís also no real canonicity to their characters and so you get to create what you want for them. Letís see what you do with them, shall we?
Youíve created quite a bitter scene here in the beginning. I love how the words kind of just wrap themselves up in my mind, having fragments echo in my head long after Iíve finished reading the sentence. I adore imagery such as this and it has certainly served to create the scene here, with an almost magical quality tinting its edges.
Itís never crossed my mind really that Bill would want to or not want to learn French. Though with how this story seems to be unfolding, I could understand why (to a degree).
She tried to be her sisterís [carer] once before and it failed. - caretaker
OK, I had to stop my running review because I had to keep track of all the different POVs you were throwing at me! :) Now that Iíve reached the end, Iím not sure that I totally got it but hereís what I saw: Dominique is dead from the beginning and itís Lysander whoís watching her movements. Anytime we switch to this POV in the forest, the girl with the tattered gloves, the barefoot dancing one, this is Dominique. The family is grieving, Louis, Fleur and Bill still at Shell Cottage while Victoire has moved out, living with Teddy and their relationship is in splinters. Is that it? Weíre watching a ghostly apparition? Because that would be cool.
I donít know if you revealed how she died because I canít quite tell myself. Maybe she drowned when playing on the ice with Lysander and he failed to save her? The section before the last where she starts to dance from under the bridge could mention rain as it does in the end if thatís meant to be together and this would help tie it up. And I donít know, maybe mentioning names with the woman who is drinking tea? I think that was Victoire. But I also got confused because someone was someoneís caretaker which makes me think that theyíre both aliveÖ Anyway, those are my suggestions.
I did love the imagery though and the story, if itís what I think it is as above, is a beautiful one. Even if it isnít what I thought it was, I still took something away from it :)
Author's Response: HI :D
You've kind of hit the nail on the head with...everything in this review but I'll do what you do and go through it in order and ramble about how happy I am that you got what this was meant to be about!
Magical quality, fairytale quality, that's exactly what I wanted from this, though with that bitterness too. I wanted something to be a little off and hopefully that came through.
I never really crossed mine until you mentioned it :P I guess being a student of French has made me loathe it so much that I was sort of channelling that through Bill! It's a difficult language and I'm not sure he'd ever pick it up in the same way as his kids would (bearing in mind he's obviously a lot older than them and languages tend to be harder to learn when you're older and not immersed in them every day).
Nope, I meant carer... maybe a Brit vs American thing?
Haha, I did almost mention that in my request. It's not a story that lends itself to reviewing as you go along for several reasons, not least the POV changes.
You are the only person to get what I wanted. Not that anyone else is wrong, per se, just that you interpreted as I'd hoped people would. Dominique isn't real and everyone's torn to pieces and it's horrible. So yes to everything.
I didn't reveal it and nor did I really think about it (it's a bit morbid, to be honest). It'd definitely be an accident and drowning does seem to fit so let's roll with that :P I shall do something about the rain too.
I think it was Victoire but I'll make that clearer in an edit. Definitely a former carer, not a recent one. It's terribly confusing, even for me...
Thank you so much for such a lovely review. I'm over the moon that someone saw this in the same way that I did. That never happens :P