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Review:CambAngst says:
Awww... that was so sad. I think one of the biggest differences between the male and female perspective on romance is the concept of unrequited love. As I male, I read this story and the sense of incompleteness, the perception of something that desperately needs to be fixed, is almost overwhelming. I want to just grab Lily by the shoulders and shake her in frustration. For most women I know, there's something very poetic about the whole thing. An idealistic state where love is completely pure and unsullied by any possibility of personal fulfillment except for watching the loved one be happy. For most readers, I think this story brings that contrast out in spades.

You did a wonderful job writing this. Everything flowed very nicely. Your balance of narrative and descriptiveness was terrific and there was just the right amount of dialog to break up Lily's reflection on her life-long relationship with Lysander. I loved reading Lily's inner dialog as she struggles with her desire to declare her love for him. It all came across as so genuine and earnest.

I only saw one sentence in the whole piece that I thought read a bit awkward: "My childhood was the days where we spent every day together, each collapsing on each other on the verge of exhaustion after Nana Molly scrubbed us clean in the bath." It's grammatically correct, but there are a lot of days, eaches and ons. I think it would read a little better if you mixed up your word choice a little.

I've read a fair bit of your writing and this is probably my favorite so far. It's short, elegant, filled with poignant emotion and very clean and easy to read. Well done!

Author's Response: Hey :) Thank you again for this review.

I agree that it is one of the biggest differences between male and female writing especially because the different genders have such a different perception on the idea of 'love'.

I agree with your idea of wanting to shake Lily but at the same time, if she told him, it would have make the piece more awkward and I think it was more about Lily discovering that she'd prefer him to be happy with someone else rather than loae him.

I'm really glad you think that it flowed really well! I thought it was extremely short so I actually wasn't going to post it especially because I also missed the deadline to the challenge it was for so I'm glad you liked it!

I'll have a look at that sentence, I can see there are a few words that I can get rid of!


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