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Review:Flavia says:
Omigosh it's ridiculously late and I'm yawning like crazy so I'll have to read the rest of the story tomorrow, but I'll leave a review for this chapter before I go to sleep :)

I liked this chapter, it's nice to see Sarah developing a backbone, it fits really well with the whole 'let's make this a great year' concept, she's really trying to be more confident. I also have to say that I LOVED the flashback. It was perfectly placed, flowed beautifully and was exactly what was needed to explain Sarah's relationship with James. It was also a good reason for Sarah to hate James so much. It's exactly the sort of thing an 11 year-old would use to develop a grudge against someone. Sorry, I'm gushing, but I really liked it :)

Just a few things that didn't sit right with me:
*Grammar/spelling/incorrect word usage. Sorry, I keep mentioning this but it's my pet peeve. I find it very distracting, which is a pity because I actually think you have a lovely grasp on language and write really well but it sort of gets overshadowed by those little errors. Editing/Beta-ing is a good idea.
*I didn't quite understand why the other Gryffindors came in and sat down. If they were just looking for James, surely they'd leave once they found him? Usually tormentors don't hang around, they pick on someone and take off. I dunno, that bit just felt a bit strange to me.
*I thought her description of her uniform was a bit long-winded and redundant. It didn't really add any new information because the majority of the people reading this story would have seen the movie depiction of the uniform and already have that image in their mind, so when you've got this paragraph descibing something you already have a detailed image of in your head, well your mind starts to wander a little. Does that make sense?

I hope you don't mind the suggestions, it's meant to be constructive and helpful and of course you're welcome to ignore it :) I really think this story has so much potential though and I'm definitely starting to get into it. I often have trouble finding fan-fics that I enjoy reading but you have a lovely writing style and I'm hooked! Can't wait to read the rest of the chapters. xx

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