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Review:Flavia says:
A good start, you've done well for your first story. It's a good concept and it's always nice to see the 'Puffs getting some attention :) I wouldn't worry about the length of this chapter, it's actually relatively short. I notice the other chapters are longer, which is good.

Your writing is fluid enough that the story reads quite well, my only suggestion would be to really take the time to properly edit because there were a few instances where the wrong word was used (such as 'was' instead of 'were' or 'exciting' instead of 'excited') and I found that stopped the flow while I stopped to understand the sentence.

Otherwise, I think this story looks really interesting and I'm looking forward to reading the next chapter! Well done :)

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