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Review:Moonyxluna says:
I really enjoyed this start. I think you caputred Sirius and Regulus so well. Knowing that 'Sirius running away' is a canon part, I loved how you interpreted the leading up to it.

I did notice a few punctuation and spelling things, and I'd suggest doing one final readthrough before posting. What I personally like to do, is go through and slowly read my chapters one sentance at a time. (which I know can be hard to go slow because you know what you are reading, because you obviously wrote it; just bare with me :p) Most of the spelling and punctuation mistakes I noticed were things like "the" instead of "then" and other things that Spellcheck wouldn't catch. If take the time to go through and give your story a thorough readthrough before you post it, it helps loads :) Otherwise take a look at the Beta section on the forums, and you could find someone to go through and edit stuff like that for you.

I thought the pace/flow of this worked brilliantly. I liked how it started the action of the fight right away, and I really got a fantastic sense of his feelings. I loved your characterizations of each of the characters, I think they stayed very true to canon.

I thought it was completely adorable how nice Mrs. Potter was to Sirius. And then he wants to go prank her anyway! shame on you Sirius Black! :p oooh, I wonder who the certian red-head could be :D

Author's Response: Thank you so much for reviewing. I can see what you mean about taking a bit of time to slowly reread through each sentence and make sure everything is in order before posting would help. I really appreciate your insight to what things I could improve on and what is liked. It helps me a lot. =)

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