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Review:Tonks1247 says:
Hello! Nymphie Tonks here with your requested review.

Just going to throw this out here real quick before my review: Sorry it has taken me so long to get this review up! I was planning on doing a ton of reviewing last week and then real life decided it did not like that idea. It was a pile up of homework and tests and projects and it was just horrible. But I am here and reviewing now :)

So. My goodness...I'm not sure I even know where to start. This was a very dark, angsty piece and it was LOADED with emotion. There were so many different things thrown in here that it was almost overwhelming. Yet I loved every single word of it.

I love how you were flipping between 3 different things within the plot. I was a bit confused as to how it was working at the beginning, but once I caught on, I was amazed. You not only have what's happening real time, but you have memories and the horrible incident all going on at once. It really seemed like an onslaught of what was going on in Teddy's mind. There was the real world stuff he was trying to forget, the memories that kept intruding that with the actual incident intertwined in both of those things. And it just really seemed like his mind was battling with itself as to where it wanted to be and what it wanted to be. It really was fantastic.

And I don't think the flashback in italics made the flow choppy at all. It seemed to fit in nicely, though I do have one thing that sort of bugged me and that would be the stopping in the middle of sentences. Don't get me wrong, I love how they work in and I get why you put them in the way you did. But I did find myself having to go back and check the previous italicized part before reading the next because in the time between those parts, I would forget it left on in mid-sentence. But I'm not necessarily saying that you should change it. Maybe just editing some of the sentences as to where the break off is? Because there were some italicized sentences that were split by sections of other description or memories and I knew exactly where I was picking up from, while others I had to go back and check.

The other thing I will touch base on, which I don't think I did, would be Teddy's characterization, which I think is fantastic. He doesn't seem to at all be a confusing character. He seems straight up and it's easy to relate to him. Within the different memories, you really do build up his character and help me as a reader to understand him. Some of the most powerful additions you had to his character would be when he's talking to Harry and when he's visiting his parents' grave.

When he's talking to Harry and Harry says 'nobody blames you,' Teddy's response is exactly what it should be. 'I do.' It just...It really hit home how upset Teddy is and it defines his character. It shows the pain and the hurt and it makes him all the more lifelike. And that, in addition to that last scene, with Teddy at his parents graves telling them he needs them and he needs them now...it really does bring power to his character. It makes his character stand out and it is really fantastic.

So overall, this was just...wow. It was so descriptive and creative and just...I'm in awe. This really was a fantastic story. Great job! [also, let me know if any part of that didn't make sense xD]

~Grimmerz

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