Report a Review

This service is designed to allow HPFF users to alert the staff about inappropriate reviews.

Review:atellam says:
Hey, here with your review. Sorry it's taken me so long to get around too.

First up, can I just say that I have way too many feelings towards your banner? Seriously, it's beautiful. moriaty over at TDA has done an amazing job. (I just thought it needed a mention)

Your description is wonderful. Really, i love how you weave it in amongst the dialogue and everything else to the point that you have such a vivid image yet you don't have the description interrupting your flow through the chapter. It really is so well done.

Characterisation (and this will probably be my longest point as we were introduced to quite a few new characters here) was good. I still don't feel I know Regulus as much as I'd like, that he seems to show little emotion and just flits through life, but then again, we're only just starting to get to know him. Beside that he comes across in a monotone in my head, they way you've portrayed him is excellent, and I love how he's proper and follows the manners he had drummed into him as a child. I hope I don't sound contradictory here and that you get what i'm trying to say :S I also love the way you portrayed Snape here and the names you chose (based on meanings) for the other Slytherin characters. I'm looking forward to seeing more character development here, because the way you've set them up has such amazing potential for so many different opportunities. Oh, and the relationship you seem to have between Reg and Sirius is really intriguing and I can't wait to see more of that developed.

I'm interested to see how your going to work this plot together, as Regulus seems to have very limited interaction with Lily at all, but it has me interested, so however your planning to go about it seems to be working :P I hope we get to explore WHY Lily hates Sirius so much, because I feel that will lead to a great expansion of characterisation. (Does that sentence even make any sense? I hope so...)

Pacing and flow was fine, and there was nothing that really interrupted from the story, aside from the spacing, but I suppose that's personal preference. The story its self was great with the spacing aside. :)

Anyway, I think I covered everything I wanted too here, and i'm enjoying this a lot. I think it's an interesting idea, to have Lily and Regulus strike a deal, and am invested to see how it progresses. Hopefully what i've said is helpful, and feel free to re-request when the next chapter is up.
- Adele.

Author's Response: Hey Adele! Thanks for coming by :)

Isn't it gorgeous? I still can't believe it was languishing in the UFG section of TDA when I found it. I was super scared someone would grab it before I could, but nope, all mine!

I'm very glad you like the description. I've been told it's one of my strong points and I always appreciate getting complimented on it.

You make a valid point about Regulus, but as you said, he's only barely begun to be fleshed out. I promise, as things get heavier for him, I'll extend him the appropriate depth of emotion. I can't just let Lily have all the fun :) I'm very glad you like his portrayal, though, and his relationship with his brother. I've gotten mixed reviews back about the names, but I'm glad you like my creative choices. And Snape, well... I'm always tickled pink when I hear that someone likes my Snape. He's my absolute favorite and I always want to get him right. Obviously, he's important to the plot.

You'll be happy to know that Lily and Regulus finally get to meet properly in the next chapter (which is in the queue as we speak). I think it would be interesting to explore Lily's dislike of Sirius, and that will be something I'll have to incorporate a little later on when she and Regulus get into their little "trade" situation. Thanks for pointing it out!

I'm not sure what you mean about the spacing, as I've never received comments about it before, but I'm glad that it didn't interrupt things too much for you :)

Thanks very much for your kind review! I'm glad I'm keeping you interested and you think the idea is fresh. Your reviews are always helpful!

Amanda

Your Name:
Reason for this Report:

Examples:
  • The review is offensive.
  • The review is spam or chit-chat (not actually a review).
  • The review was double posted.
  • The review has formatting problems.
Submit Report:  





All stories remain the property of their authors and must not be copied in any form without their consent. This is an unofficial, not for profit site, and is in no way connected with J.K. Rowling, Scholastic Books or Bloomsbury Publishing or Warner Bros. It is not endorsed by any of the aforementioned parties. Rights to characters and their images is neither claimed nor implied. The use of photographs and/or the likeness of any person contained herein does not imply endorsement of any kind. Any depictions were obtained through publically available sources and therefore fall under fair use. Although we may provide links to other websites, we are not responsible for any material at these sites. You acknowledge that you link to these other websites at your own risk. All original administrative content is copyright of the site owner and must not be copied in any form (electronic or otherwise) without the prior consent of the siteowner. ©2000-2012 Fanfictionworld.net

[terms of service] [report abuse] [privacy policy] [site credits]
 
 

navigation

home

search HPFF
read stories
write stories
login/register
get help
site links
forums
podcasts
Terms of Service
Site Rules
contact us

  
 
 

categories & genres

Genre:
- crossover
- drama
- fluff
- general
- horror/dark
- humor
- mystery
- romance
- action/adventure
- angst
- au
- young adult

Popular Pairings:
- harry/ginny
- ron/hermione
- james/lily
- draco/hermione
- more...

Format:
- one-shot
- short story
- novella
- novel
- short story collection
- songfic

  
 
 

quick links

my account
ToS
random story
site rules
help
merchandise


  
 
 

fanfictionworld.net