Report a Review

This service is designed to allow HPFF users to alert the staff about inappropriate reviews.

Review:baletgir says:
Aw, that was super sweet! I love how it wasn't completely cliched and she didn't get all of her memories back.

I'll be honest, I'm still a bit confused about how the first chapter opened. I'm assuming now that it definitely was at the scene of the accident, but why were there wizard nurses or whomever there? They were asking her questions about the magical world in the middle of the street? Because the "live one" comment means they weren't at Mungos yet. I do think I understand the outfits though! It was witches failing at dressing like a muggle nurse I'm assuming. I think that a really clever touch, and a rewriting of that first section would make all that a lot clearer and allow people to enjoy those little nuances, like the muggle outfits.

Again, this was so fluffy and sweet! It was a great way to end this story. You really built up to this moment, it was slightly predictable, but I didn't mind one bit!

I think that you could be better off ending this a bit earlier. I do love the last line, but the whole last section about what happens was unnecessary and felt a bit cliche. We don't need to know that they lived happily ever after. Ending it at "He loves me anyway." I think would be brilliant! But that's just me!

Greta job with this piece! And I really like how you took the postcard and interpreted it into this wonderful story! I hope you had fun with it all!


Author's Response: I hope I answered all your questions regarding the first chapter in my last response, but if not, I've also PMed you on the forums :)

I'm afraid I'm a sucker for a cliche, but I wanted to give Molly and Leigh closure whilst not falling into; 'and she got her memories back and they lived together in happy butterfly land.'

I had so much fun writing this, thank you very much for posting a wonderful challenge! :)



Your Name:
Reason for this Report:

  • The review is offensive.
  • The review is spam or chit-chat (not actually a review).
  • The review was double posted.
  • The review has formatting problems.
Repeat the number: 622
Submit Report: