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Review:killinglonely says:
Hi, this is killinglonely with the review you requested. Normally I'ld log in, but there's some site issues and I can't. So I'll just go ahead and review.

I really like you portrayed Sirius and James. The whole thing with getting a pay raise was funny and charming, and I like how natural they are with each other. Their dialogue is perfect, and that's something people struggle with, especially Marauder era characters. Because they're almost O.C's (in the way that we have little information about them) people recreate them wrong, but you made their relationship very, very, real. I would just suggest calling them 'men' instead of 'boys', after all, James has a kid and they're out around Death Eaters.

Cute how you portrayed Lily and James when they aren't even anywhere near each other. The stag was a really cute idea, although it was a bit of a let down that it didn't say anything. I'd like more detail on the Lily part of the story, the first part of the story seemed a little more action intense, and then all of a sudden with Lily she was just sitting outside, doing nothing. Maybe add some crying or something lol, I don't know.

You've got a great story here and a natural ability for one-shots! 9/10

Author's Response: Thanks for this, and for getting around to it so fast, haha. I'm really happy that you liked their banter, because I was worried it wouldn't come across as natural enough. I chose to call them boys to show how young they still are (only 20 after all) and that, in a way, they are fighting a war much bigger than themselves. But I do get your point.

I'm glad that you liked the stag part, and i'm sorry that it didn't talk :P I didn't have her crying, because she's trying to be strong while James is away, but I see what you mean. I'll have a fiddle :P

Thanks again for this :)
- Adele.


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