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Review:killinglonely says:
Hi! This is killinglonely from the forums (it's also my HPFF name) here with your first review. Before I begin, a couple things that bother me. They aren't actual flaws with your story, but your title is 'Job interviews', and the 'I' should be capitalized. Just a pet peeve of mine.

Moving on, I really love your characterization of Lavender. She's like how she was in the books, but back then she just seemed boy obsessed, and I like this fun, kind of careless personality you've given her. You're also very gifted with dialogue which is something I'm jealous of because I struggle a lot with it.

Now does she not know that this bakery is owned by Seamus's parents, or what? They went to school together so it seems weird that she didn't mention it, to be honest, especially since they seemed to be good friends. That's really my only main thing that bothers me about this chapter. You might want to invest in a beta, it's not that your grammar is horrible, but I myself even need one and I find that having one makes my writing a lot smoother. For example, 'what color is that Pepto Bismol?' should have a comma after the that. Just an example.

All in all, you've done a wonderful job with characterization and I can't wait to read the next chapter! (: 8/10

Author's Response: Hello! Thank you for the great review and I'm glad you like Lavender, I tend to focus most of my energy on my characters, because in my opinion a good character makes the whole story enjoyable.

I'm glad you liked it!


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