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Review:Roots in Water says:
It's Roots in Water here with your review!

I think that you did an absolutely amazing job with this story. Truly. I loved the way you interspersed the action with reflection and the way everything was short, almost broken- it made the story just that much more powerful, that much more emotional.

I loved your repetition of "You have come a long way, Dorcas Meadowes"- each time it was said it had a slightly different meaning but it was a thread that drew the whole story together.

I liked your characterization of Sirius and Dorcas- to me they seemed realistic, human, and it was easy to see the effects of the war on them. I think that you did a great job with that last point- the war permeated their every moment and they couldn't escape from it. The small scenes where they tried to, where Dorcas reflected on it, where she made decisions that she wouldn't have if there hadn't been a war- they just made this story that much more realistic. It was interesting to see the thought you had put into their histories and the way it affected their actions- the line where Dorcas talked about killing "their own" was particularly powerful in that aspect.

I was surprised about one thing, though. You mentioned at one point that Dorcas' family was religious and it struck me as odd because religion was not something that I associated with pureblood families. Did I misread the scene?

As well, with the grammatical mistakes, I noticed only two (and I was just being picky). With the phrase "This boyish charm" I would change "this" to "the" or "his" to make the sentence sound more complete. The second thing I noticed was with the phrase "To her teachers;"- I would use a colon instead of a semi-colon.

As I mentioned before, I really enjoyed the way in which you wrote this story and that includes the plot. Though I found the sudden change between past, present and future events confusing at times I loved the moments that you chose to write. They all fit together to form a large picture rich with emotion. Though nothing "big" happened that is not to say that nothing important didn't happen- I really enjoyed your perspective on their lives, as seen during a time of war.

All in all I think that you did a fantastic job with this story, especially with the transfer of emotions. Thanks for requesting a review and I hope that my comments are helpful!

Author's Response: Hi! Thank you so much for your long review!
I knew there was something wrong there: purebloods don't go to church. I just thought it fitting, really. With all the regal elegance and stiff traditions I thought the church fitted in nicely. But you're right. Oh, well.

I don't think I jumped back and forth in past and present, though? I know Dorcas reflects a few times, thinking back, but when she does that it always begins with "Remembering" or "Thinking back" or something like that. Hm... Maybe I've missed something.

Thank you so much for your wonderful wonderful review, it was absolutely perfect in every way! Thank you !


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