So you're Tanya? I'm Scott, and I will be your reviewer this evening. I can only dream of reviewing as well as you can write, so this may seem a little substandard. :) I heard you're a little frustrated. I hope this review doesn't frustrate you further, but if it does, can I apologise now? ...and then I'll hide. Plan. :)
WOW. This was amazing! :) You really took advantage of writing a short chapter, it set the scene for the story perfectly, not to mention the tone of the story.
I really like the narrative voice in this. I love how your character acts and feels about things, and I especially love how you use the really short sentences. Every line is so effective, and the way you repeat the "lying in a box" means that it's an image constantly in the forefront of the reader's mind.
I like the way that they aren't celebrating the victory at the Battle of Hogwarts, because of the recent deaths. I think that was a really nice touch. :)
So, this is me (Scott, your reviewer for this evening) signing off. I'm sorry I had nothing useful to tell you. Unfortunately, this work was too good for any feedback to improve. Well, that's fortunate too. Anyway, I'll get around to chapter two eventually, but for now, goodbye! :)
Author's Response: Scott? Scott... hmmm... Sounds vaguely familiar... HOW DO YOU KNOW MY NAME? ;-) And 'substandard'? Pffft, this is such a lovely review, and the fact that you left it specifically to brighten the bad day I was having makes it even more amazing! :-)
Yay! It's so great to hear that the short chapter still managed to have an impact! I was hoping it would be long enough to set the tone, but short enough to be given a chance! haha Glad it did that for you!
Awww, thank you so much! I really love my OC and it's always incredible when people like her as well, especially her inner voice because that's a huge part of who she is, so thank you! And I'm so happy the short lines are adding emphasis and effect because I know it could easily have turned into a 'choppy' piece if not done properly! Short sentences can easily make a story feel very staccato, with no fluidity, but yay for pulling it off! Thank you!!!
I just know that when the seventh book ended, I was of course happy that Harry won, but was definitely mourning our losses, so I just took that and assumed most characters would feel the same! Especially since they were all still surrounded by the evidence of their losses! So sad, but I'm so glad it worked for you! ^.^
Oh, Scott! I know who you are: Scott! Duh. This was a wonderful review, you silly goose :-p Really, this was such a kind review and it sincerely made my day do a 180! Thank you for leaving it, you're a sweetheart! :-D