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Review:In The Shadows I Dwell says:
It's InTheShadowsIDwell from the forums here with your review, I appologise for the awfully long wait since you requested this, I've been absolutely swamped with work over the past month. Okay, enough of my excuses, time for some reviewing. Okay, so I really like how you've narrated this story, the fact that you have all three perspectives of who I assume are going to be the main characters - Lily, James and Severus, is particularly interesting as each gives an insight into the other characters in a way that just one narrator cannot. It's interesting to see how they all react around one another and you've captured it really well, I like how they all seem to be drawn together by Lily and how she really seems to be doing everything she can to really avoid them.

I'd like to talk about James and Snape's reactions to one another because you've written them really well, they were believable and well within character. You've characterized both, and seeing as they're both trying to win the same girl's heart it's interesting how they each interact with her. I find it interesting that you mentioned Severus's friends at the beginning of his section of the chapter, I don't know whether it's just me, but I didn't exactly imagine him as having many friends, or at least he wouldn't acknowledge them as friends even if they considered him to be one. That might be just me, but it's something that came to mind when I read that line, that is unless you were talking about the Death Eaters... In that case just ignore me!

Something else I found interesting was your choice to give Lily Head Girl without giving her the Prefects badge as well. Most people give her both, but I like how you've sort of got James and Lily as equals, neither of them particularly have any experience so I'm sure that'll make things very interesting later on. I also like how you've made all the endings of each section tie together with each stating that the year is going to change something, and I can't wait to find out what that is. I'm curious already as to whether you'll continue telling the story from all three perspectives as I wonder whether it might distracting in longer chapters, but I shall have to read on to find out.

Overall your writing was very good, and the story itself flowed pretty nicely, it flowed fairly nicely considering you had it split into sections. I noticed no grammatical or spelling errors, that's always a plus! I also loved your characterisation of Lily she seems very much in character and I love how you've shown some of her relationship with her family and Petunia's reaction to her comment. I was slightly confused about the mention of a Graduation Ceremony as they were never actually shown in the books, but aside from that and the other tiny little issue I mentioned earlier it was a great start over all.

Keep up the great work!

~ Ash

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