an excellent beginning! i really liked the phrase about being able to see through a ruse like glass, and overall i also liked how you made mad-eye's reasons for being so vigilant not paranoid at all but perfectly logical, regardless of whether or not it's really only perfectly logical in his mind, because that's the point, it's from his point of view. so job well done, and i also liked how you expanded on the sort of relationship you fostered between him and lupin, and not only that, but conveniently it segued into the subject of his taking the DADA job.
i'm sorry i haven't update moonlight yet, i'm hoping to do that this week, and to make up for it, i'm hoping to get up a lot. things have been rather up and down, but hopefully this week i can get back on track. :)
Author's Response: Cheers for reading and reviewing, you're so good like that, you don't have to but you do! Thanks so much, really appreciate it!
I'm not terribly gone on this chapter to be honest, it's just a prelude, I would have put it up altogether as a one-shot, but if I did that I sorta felt that it would be a bit too long to be read as a single chapter all in one go, and that its sheer length might put readers off. So I decided to split it. I suppose I could have edited/deleted some of the material, but then I was afraid that Moody would have no rapport or relationship with the reader and as a result, what happens in the next chapter (his great fall, his defeat, his kidnapping) won't mean anything, you know? This chapter is more just setting the scene, the next one is where all the action is really!
I am glad you liked the friendship between Moody and Lupin - it was the only way I could make everything in the monologue connect. It was good as a sort of transition from Moody telling everyone about his life at the moment, to what will happen in the future (ie him taking the DADA job)!
Anyway, chapter two has been submitted, and that's where all the fun/action is (or so I hope!!!), so fingers crossed it will be validated in a few days!
Don't worry about Moonlight. I don't really intend my constant comment at the end of reviews: "please updated soon!" to mean drop everything and write the next chapter ASAP, it is more used to convey how excited/interested your story makes me and I am just eager to read more because I like it so much! Plus, I understand completely what it is like having no time to write! I'm in the same boat myself. I'm slowly finding time here and there to write an new fic - a novella - but I'm not going to post it until I've several chapters done, because the pressure to update constantly would just get to me, and would probably distract me from college work I should be doing... like the work right now I should be doing *guilt assaults conscience*. So anyway, no pressure or anything - I am just looking forward to your next few chapters and I will wait patiently for them, it's no problem. In the meantime, hope work is treating you well! :)
Thanks again for the review, you're so good! I really appreciate it so much! Thank you again. Go raibh mile maith agat.