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Review:ladymblack says:
Another great chapter, of course! I love how you are allowing time to go by, without making it seem as though nothing is happening. Too many authors do that and then it actually gets boring. You've done the opposite. You give just enough so that we know what's going on and get a snippet of experiences, conversations and such. Perfect! A few questions though: Who is Violet Brown? Based on the description, it sounded like Lavender. I wasn't too sure about that. Also, are Damian and Genevieve Longbottoms or McDivvotts? At first you mention that Damian is a distant relative of Neville's (presumably that's where the Longbottom is from). But then later on another couple by the same names (Mary Sue's parents) are surnamed McDivvott. It was just a little confusing. Thanks, and I'm always looking for more chapters from you!

Author's Response: ladymblack

I don't know why I have so many problem with Lavender Brown. Somehow she keeps getting typed as Violet. I had Penelope and Urban Longbottom in my list of characters and then again just botched it as I was typing out this section. That is why you need a good beta or two, and my one time beta Mrs_Grainger is working 12 hour days and hardly has time to read.

You may be happier with my story at this point than I am. I think I would have been better making a series of shorter stories. The first one would end at the one year anniversary of the Battle of Hogwarts. The second would cover Ginny's Quidditch career and the final capture of the last of the death eaters. Trying to do a better job of introducing story threads and bringing them to a conclusion instead of writing a rambling soap opera type of story.

From the time he is born Albus becomes more and more a focus of the story, although even well into the Albus Potter story we never loose Harry and Ginny.

I know I have rewritten the whole first part of my story once. I'm just still not satisfied, and may abandon this after a couple more chapters. I'm really proud of a chapter ahead on Donna and Bill Lionheart. If I don't get more than one or two reviews on it maybe I've lost my way with this long story and need to start over.

JetLaBarge


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