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Review:atellam says:
I'm not quite sure why you don't have any reviews on this yet, as it's really quite brilliant. An interesting characterization of Victoire, one that I personally haven't seen before, and different from the normal 'Teddy and Vic get married/engaged in the first two chapters' fic, so well done on that one.

I'm interested to see where this plot goes and will pop back to read the next chapter when I have a chance.

The one thing I'd really encourage you to do, is check out the forums. (Writers Resources -> Grammar Guidelines -> Everything You Ever Wanted To Know About Dialogue) Your dialogue its self is great, which is a lovely change from the forced dialogue you see in most first chapters of stories (as Authors haven't developed their characters enough to work out their own 'voice' yet) but with work on your dialogue tags, this would read even better; a smoother flow to the chapter. I'm not even going to try and explain it as the forums do a much better job ^_^

Anyway, in short, this is really good and such a lovely change from most fics, so well done. I hope the lack of reviews doesn't discourage you as they will come with time. Keep up the writing, because you show real promise,
- Adele :)

Author's Response: Thank you so much for the review! I really did want to create a different sort of Victoire from what we usually see, especially since there's no canon evidence that says she ended up as a model, as most people seem to portray her ;)

Dialogue tags are actually something I've worked on before, there's generally two competing ideas with them, two 'schools', if you will. At the moment, I'm slightly stuck between the two (one is to only ever use 'said', there's a few well published literary author's who only ever do that, as they believe that the dialogue should speak for itself (i.e you don't need to say 'muttered', the dialogue itself and the physical description of the person and the scene should say that for you) and the other, obviously, is to use the wider range). There's also the idea of not using them at all - can be confusing, but does sometimes take away from the excessive description that you can get with dialogue tags.

Anyway, I actually do know that area of the forums, as I'm almost always over at the HPFF forums ;)

Thank you so much for the review. And don't worry, nothing will discourage me from writing this. I've been here long enough to know better than to expect reviews!

Thank you :)


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