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Review:VioletBlade says:
Hi there! VioletBlade with your requested review!

Alrighty, let's get crackin'! ;)

Plot: I think as your first fanfic, it has much potential! However, to begin, I think the pace was a bit fast, and without more detail it was hard to follow, so that's something you might want to consider. I like Jen, but there isn't too much going on right now. I like the bit you started out with about Transfiguration (which should be capitalized by the way), and how much she hates it that she actually took it to Dumbledore. That's hilarious! I think you could add more detail in so we could get to know Jen a little better, and also so that the relationships she has can be developed more.

Characterization: A little of what I have to say here ties into what I said above. I think overall, your characters could use some more good description because they seem interesting! I like your OC a lot, and she's quite funny! I just don't feel like I know anything about her except that she's best friends with Lily, hates Transfiguration, and knows the Mauraders. (Including Remus' secret, I'd like to know the backstory on THAT!)

Grammar: To be completely honest, I would suggest a beta for this story. I don't want to nit-pick for you, but the spacing between sentences made the story really hard to follow, and the dialogue structure was also off. Spelling mistakes weren't a huge thing in this story that I saw, just simple grammar stuff and some capitalization issues.

Overall, it's a great first start! I hope this review was helpful to you and that you keep on writing! Practice makes perfect ;)

~VioletBlade

Author's Response: I do have a Beta reader actually..
Thanks for the criticism on Jen, I know she doesn't get much description in chap 1, (Or anyone else either.) but she gets a lot more in the next few. :)

Thank you, I think I will re-request chap 2 :)


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