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Review:Roots in Water says:
It's Roots in Water here with your review!

I think that you did a brilliant job with this chapter, especially in capturing Andromeda's feelings. You truly created a sad, intense atmosphere in this chapter and did a great job expressing Andromeda's conflicting emotions regarding Bellatrix. It's fascinating the way you're giving life to the three Black sisters, the way you're showing the evolution of their personalities. Bellatrix has always had hints of the insane, dark person she would become but she was also a good sister to them. They grew up together and I think that you're doing a great job of exploring how the past influences the present.

The flow was great- the sentences flowed seamlessly from one to the next- and the memory you integrated fit in perfectly with the scene. The method in which you introduced it was great- I was actually expecting the memory before I read it. I only have one more comment about the flow and it's more of a small confusion; with the line "Typically, the day she goes to visit Bella is the day it rains" it sounds as though Andromeda visits Bellatrix regularly, which isn't the impression I got from the rest of the chapter. Where you trying to say something along the lines of "As could be predicited, the day..."?

Though this chapter didn't move the story along very much in terms of action and adventure, I think that it was very important to the plot because it explored (as I said before) Andromeda's confusing feelings over her sister's death. I think that it was very necessary to show this step because of the many layers involved with her feelings regarding her sister's death- not only is her sister dead, but her sister caused the death of her husband and daughter, and Andromeda is friends with her sister's killer (it sounds even more complicated now that I've simplified it like that). Andromeda needs time and peace to sort out her feelings and you gave that to her in this chapter.

The little details you included in this chapter also helped to make the sisters come alive. One of my favourite sentences was the part where you explained that carnations had always been Bellatrix's favourite flowers and that she would only water them when it was her turn to water the garden- it seems like such a Bellatrix thing to do.

I do have a small comment: at the beginning of the chapter you said that it was raining and very cloudy and then, after the memory, said that she was "envelopped in sunshine". In re-reading I noticed that you explain towards the end of the chatper that the clouds have moved away but I think that you should put this explanation before you mention that she's surrounded by sunshine, to avoid confusing readers.

All in all, I think that you did a great job with this chapter and I definitely enjoyed reading it! Thanks for requesting and I hope that my comments are helpful! Please feel free to request again for the next chapter!

Author's Response: Thanks! I really wanted it to be intense, because it's sort of like the first time she's really mourning Bellatrix, as opposed to kinda ignoring the fact that she's dead, you know?
Yes! That's what I meant, lol! I'll definitely change that when I go back and edit this - gosh, thanks for pointing that out! I feel kinda silly now... :P
Her situation is hugely complicated, and I just felt that she needed some time to allow herself to calm down and accept it. Throwing her headfirst into anything else might perhaps have been a little too mean :D
Hehe, I just can't imagine Bellatrix ever gardening willingly, you know? It just doesn't seem to fit in my mind...
Ah, yeah, I should probably make that a bit clearer. Thanks for pointing that out! I tend to forget that other people don't necessarily know my story as well as I do.

Thanks for lovely helpful review!
Aph xx


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