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Review:Moonyxluna says:
Oh I absolutley loved the beginning descrpition, describing arriving at Hogwarts like christmas. It was just lovely! I loved the start of term feast, all of your details are lovely :)

Is the 'incident' they keep talking about Moaning Myrtle dying? It seems like you have Tom's personallity written very well, sort of a... secret arrogance is what I got from him.

I did notice a few punctuation things, like a comma there, period there, but it was nothing that took away from the story. There's also, in one sentance you had a character say "haha you know Dippet so well Allie!" Ella says : My suggestion would be to say, "You know Dippet so well, Allie!" Ella chuckled/laughed. Makes sense? Just suggestion, feel free to ignore :)

I thought it was really neat how you had her make her own spells; reminded me of Snape, and how he created his own when he was getting into the dark arts during his schooling. Great connection!!!

I really loved the ending, with the bird is what you were asking, correct? I thought it was beautiful. This is a really intesting story so far!! continuing for sure :)

Author's Response: Thank's again :)
yes, the incident is the chambers, I'm really happy that all of the details come accross the way i intended for them to.

Oh yes thats a very good suggestion! I have a slight punctuation-problem, my sentences just wants to go on forever haha I'm trying to get better at it though so we'll see :)

and thank you so much for mentioning the ending, it really was one of my main concerns since I wrote the song myself with all the rhymes and stuff and was a bit unsure if it went along with the rest. So a big thank you for that :)


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