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Review:charlottetrips says:
Oh joy, I get to read about jerk face. >:P Gr, laughing at Tonks. He already starts out as someone I donít like. Someone who likes laughing at othersí expense and thinks that heís all that (which heís not).

Goodness, heís a wild one. Especially with a brute of a father such as his. His mother sounds cool though, taming dragons and such. Maybe this is good parenting where he comes from but to me, bleh, it makes me cringe.

LOL, this whole thought process of Marcusí in terms of waking up early in the morning to play cards and do his homework is a little at odds with his roughness. Heís almost waxing poetic here.

Well, there isnít a good part of him is there? Enjoying the thought of Filch being furious about mud being tracked in, then the idea of what Filch would do to the other students, geez. Such a Slytherin.

Itís funny how observant he is. But because it has a nefarious purpose in the end, I supposed he can be excused.

If you meant for me, a good-hearted soul, to not like Marcus, well, you have accomplished your purpose!

Overall, this short story was interesting in that it seemed you simply took it up to make a study of viewpoints on the same thing. Itís like having a slice of Hogwarts life and what makes people react to a certain thing. The incident in question just being a plate of fried eggs being tipped over onto a book and one girl screaming at another who then gets laughed out of the Great Hall. Then we saw it from each of the different viewpoints and where I was once sympathetic(ish) of Mariana (see I got her name!) I then became a little put out with her from Tonksí viewpoint and I just didnít want to agree with Marcus at all, horrible person that he was.

The flow and characterization was good. You made these three people real to me in the snippets you provided. You are certainly a good writer and getting better!

xChar

Author's Response: Thanks so much for reviewing the last chapter! I always enjoy reading your reviews very much because I love reading about your reactions to the events in a chapter! You're always so thorough.

Marcus' last name is Flint and you actually see him in the books as the mean Quidditch captain for the Slytherin team. I just imagined a past to fit his personality!

I had him get up early to do his homework because he has to at least do it, even if it is at the last minute. I think that he would also enjoy being alone for a little while instead of being surrounded by people he considered "beneath him". I suppose it can seem a little strange...

I certainly never meant for someone to like Marcus! It was just an interesting perspective to add to the story- the spectator who would actually pay more than a passing thought to the egg-incident.

I'm glad that you found this concept interesting- I certainly enjoyed writing it, though it was difficult at times to ensure that none of the details contradicted each other. I'm so pleased that you think I'm a good writer (seriously- I have a huge smile on my face) and I'm glad that I'm getting better!

Thanks once again for reviewing!


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