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Review:charlottetrips says:
I always like seeing people’s takes on Rose/Scorpius. It’s mainly in hope that there’ll be more to the characters that we don’t actually know anything about that might be introduced with the new author taking them on.

I have a slight bit of advice here. In the first paragraph, you do well in terms of letting the reader know what Scorpius is doing but at times, the description sounds a bit stiff—I think it’s because almost all the sentences start with “He” when perhaps it could be changed up a bit. Like for instance:

He marched across to the coffee table and collected his wand, as well as a handful of gold Galleons. He stuffed them into his pocket as he stormed back to the entrance hall. He walked toward an alcove and collected his old Hogwarts trunk, which he had already packed with clothes and other necessary items, and headed for the door.

Could become:

He marched across to the coffee table and collected his wand, as well as a handful of gold Galleons. Stuffing them into his pocket, he stormed back to the entrance hall where he collected his old Hogwarts trunk, which he had already packed with clothes and other necessary items, before he headed for the door.

Although, I do have to warn you that I have a tendency to have run-on sentences and so you could go ahead and ignore this advice. But do continue to delve into descriptions because it allows me to “watch” what is happening.

Hm, what could Draco be asking of Scorpius that he felt it necessary to leave rather than do as his father asked? Very mysterious…

Also, as an aside, I think it’s cute that Albus hugged Scorpius hello :)

A good start! I’ve got questions that I want answered and so this makes me want to read the next chapter (once you’ve got it)

xChar

Author's Response: Thanks for the review! :)

Firstly, I agree with the comments on the first paragraph, and will look to edit that soon. Thanks for the advice there :)

Hopefully I'll be able to get an update up in the not too distant future, although I have to concentrate on another fic for now. :P

Thanks again for the review!:)


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