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Review:Fingerposts says:
What a lovely piece of fluff, m'dear. Lovely indeed.

To start, I like the way you start it off, with a crossword puzzle. It's just so random that it ACTUALLY works when it should be silly. Be careful starting so many sentences with "I" though - that happens quite a lot throughout the beginning of your story.

Liking the Mrs Weasley reference - everybody's got to love a little bit of Molly!

GRAMMER - In your third paragraph, you've said "not to flashy, not to simple." This should read "not TOO flashy, not TOO simple."

Liking that Harry comes in with a Daily Prophet, just when Ginny's got hers out too. It's a nice little detail which adds reality to your story.

Again adding reality is the fact that you've got references to their careers in there. It's another great detail which gives your story a little more muscle and gets the reader (me) more interested.

I noticed that you use dialogue way more than description. A little more description in between the dialogue wouldn't go amiss, trust me. ;)

GRAMMER - "Do you want me too?" should read "do you want me TO?"

The change between Harry joking, and then going to the serious "I'm not perfect" seemed a little rushed. A little more description on how his face changes, or a little more about how he plays with his sleeve - or something - so Ginny actually has something to hold onto to to make her realise the tone's changed, instead of her just guessing.

It's just after this when I started actually quite liking this story. Don't get me wrong - it's pretty good up to here - but after this point it's just a complete fluff-fest you can't help but smile at.

"Looking for my facial expression" would be better as "searching my face for any sign of what I thought" or something similar.

BRITPICKING - "Garbage" is "Rubbish," and we say "bin" not "can."

Just as a little added point, I'm liking how the "quirks" get sillier and siller as the story goes on.

You use the words "weird look" to describe Harry and Ginny a LOT. Maybe a different word here or there would offer more to the reader.

BRITPICK: "Pants" are "trousers" over here.

"Using my hands to point at Harry" could read better as "Gesturing wildly" or something similar.

BRITPICK: "Cookies" are "biscuits."

The quirk I liked the best was Ginny's horrible taste in ties. That's an incredibly funny stroke of genius!

All in all, this was quite a good little one-shot, though with a little polishing it could end up being quite a bit better.

I hope you found my review helpful! Please respond and tell me what you think!



Author's Response: Crossword puzzles. People sometimes think all Ginny does is play quidditch, who knows she may have a little quirk for puzzles!

Harry should have brought an umbrella...Just saying.

Sorry about all the British things, I wasn't sure weather to put them in or not, when I really should have. I'll fix them one day, I just have to get rid of real life!

I loved that Ginny had a horrible taste in ties, I think that one was my favorite too!

I totally found it helpful, thanks so much!


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