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Review:atellam says:
Forgive me - i'm aware this has taken a while to get around to. Anyway, reviewing time (that's what your after anyway, isn't it? :P)

First up, grammar -
(Writers Resources -> Grammar Guidelines -> Everything You Ever Wanted To Know About Dialogue.) There are loads of helpful articles in the Writers Resources, but the dialogue one will help with the errors in this the most. Check it out ^_^

Other than that, this was really good. I'm loving Tonks (seriously, she's fantastic in this. Really how I imagine her) and so is everyone else. Dumbledore's dialogue was a bit OOC, but he's a nightmare to write, so I wouldn't worry to much about it.

Your pacing and flow were good, and you handled the flashbacks well. One thing i've noticed, is that you tend to favour words a lot. Like 'report' was used twice within two lines (there were a few other offenders as well, but this was an easy example). It interrupts the flow, but can easily be fixed with a thesaurus.

Honestly, I really liked this and LOVE your banner. I felt the need to mention it, it's beautiful.

Hope you re-request as I'm interested to see where this is headed! Keep up the good work, and I hope i've been somewhat useful,
- Adele :)

Author's Response: Meh - don't even worry about it! I know what its like when RL invades :P

Thank you for telling me about the WR - I'm going to skip over there after school today! So cheers for that :)

Yey for Tonks :P She's such a fun character to write! Dumbledore didn't feel right for me in this chapter either - I know where you're coming from completely! I'll alter his speech as soon as I have time :)

Hmm, thanks for pointing that out - hadn't noticed. I'll go back over it soon :)

Thank you so much for the review! Keira :D

P.S. I completely agree about the banner - I'll pass the message on :D


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