Report a Review

This service is designed to allow HPFF users to alert the staff about inappropriate reviews.

Review:HarrietHopkirk says:
I love, love, love this! Really, you write darkness and angst and all that sort of thing so beautifully. It was really good. Your use of imagery and metaphors and prettiness is awesome, and it flows and works really well together. I can really visualise everything: Bella, Voldy, their every interaction, the setting. The dialogue is perfectly in character and works well with the style of the one-shot. I also love your use of present tense - again, it works really well with the style you are going for.

And O.O! Draco is Bella and Lucius' child! That is a twist. Usually, AU stuff like that makes me cringe a little, but this was very well executed, so I really liked it. However, this is where I think you strayed, in terms of dialogue: "You said that you were protected!" works well, but I just think it sounds a little too modern, but I can't think of any alternatives right now... maybe something like 'you said we were safe', but that could be too ambiguous.

The last two sections were really well written - I lurrrve your descriptions of Azkaban and the Dementors as well as Bella's emotions and feelings. You've really got her spot on. Congratulations on writing a really rather spiffing one shot. ♥

Author's Response: Wow thanks! I'm really flattered by all your kind words.

Just as a clarification point, it wasn't Bella and was Bella and Lucius with Bella just fantasizing (as she is wont to do). I'm glad that the AU didn't make you cringe. I couldn't think of another way of saying "protected" other than that--just thinking with a spell or something.

Thank you for this!

Your Name:
Reason for this Report:

  • The review is offensive.
  • The review is spam or chit-chat (not actually a review).
  • The review was double posted.
  • The review has formatting problems.
Repeat the number: 985
Submit Report: