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Review:academica says:
Hey AD! I really like this concept -- I don't know if I've ever read a Teddy/Dom (no, really) and I like Dom being used as the "other woman". It definitely adds a new dimension to the tale.

I really like the "kiss in the rain" scene. It didn't have a cliched feel, which I was a little afraid of given the romantic connotation that has been attached to moments like that. I thought the moment between Teddy and Dom felt very natural and realistic, and you could tell that the romance between them had been building up for quite some time.

The second part of this didn't flow quite as well, though it wasn't bad. I think that block of text when Teddy was explaining to Dom why he needed to marry Victoire might be better if it's broken up a bit and you add in some description of how Teddy and Dom are acting and what Dom is thinking as she hears everything he says. I also thought your phrasing was a little awkward at one point - "three days later" sounds better as "three days from now".

However, I do think you handled the emotions in that scene well, and it's a hard thing to write, so kudos to you! I especially liked how you had Dom insist that they break up and then break down when Teddy mentioned the proposal. It may seem contradictory to some readers, but I think those conflicted feelings are very realistic for someone who really goes through a scenario like it. It's like she was brave at first, and then as soon as she lost control and the truth hit her, she wanted to retreat back into the place where she was happy. It adds real dimension to her character and you wrote it well.

Nice job! Good luck with the challenges!

Amanda

Author's Response: Hey academica! Thanks a lot for your (as always) valuable review :)

I am glad you liked it and found how I handled it, realistic. The concept was something that I'd come across in many fics but most of them portray Dom as someone evil, someone who is destroying her sister's life, so I wanted to show her in a different light where she's sacrificing her love for Teddy for her sister. I am happy to know it worked!

The kiss in the rain scene was something with which I struggled, so I am glad to know that it turned out well.

I think I might have rushed in the second part, as you said Teddy's speech. Thanks a lot for your comments, and I'll edit it soon, and do the required changes. You really did help me there to find out what was off :)

I am also flattered to know that you find the entire ordeal so realistic, and that you took so much time to mull over it, so thank you.

Thanks once again for your generous review, and for the wishes!

Love,
AD

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