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Review:accioHPFF says:
Hey Emma. :)

Finally got the chance to read this, after hearing about it yesterday.

I really like this- I think you've done a great job.

I think that you did well with this, and that you achieved a lot with just the one chapter. You introduced Lily, the Marauders and Tina, before showing the dynamics between them and quite a bit about their insecurities, traits and such. I think you did really well with all of that, and I can't wait to find out more about them.

I think the way that you brought in Tina's problems with her image was so natural and realistic. I think the way she circled the part of the magazine was a nice detail to add.
I also think you did well with Remus and his character. I like how he interacted with people in the compartment, that was also a job well done.
My only real problem is with Lily. I feel like you've slightly over-exaggerated her bitterness and anger towards James. I understand that he's persistent and unrelenting, but it seems a bit unfair. If this was the train ride home, and she'd been putting up with this for a few months, then it would be a lot more understandable.

I'll review the rest soon (hopefully). :)

-accioHPFF.

Author's Response: Scott! Thank you so much for the wonderful review!

Thanks, all the characters have motives (especially Tina) for their actions and some more are revealed later on!

Everyone has been telling me that Lily is too angry/bitter. I have been trying to tone it down a little - the first edit of this chapter must have made her seem like the angriest person on earth! :P

Thanks again,

Emma xx

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