Report a Review

This service is designed to allow HPFF users to alert the staff about inappropriate reviews.

Review:Elenia says:
Hey, Elenia here from the review tag!

Many things in your story that I liked! Firstly this was very well written! I think it flowed very smoothly forwards and held the interest during the whole story! Great job there! Pacing was good, a little fast in few parts, but that didn't matter much. Overall very easy to read. I would suggest reading it through once though, as there are a couple minor spelling errors, but otherwise I think Grammar was very good!

About characterization, it was good in most parts, but from time to time I got a feeling that it was something that I couldn't picture James and Lily doing. Like how they ended up going on the date. I don't think Lily would have said that she was dating James just to drive a guy away. But I think this got better once they were actually on the date. The interaction there was very believable.

Only other thing I'd like to mention is that I would have wanted you to make up another riddle for the Ravenclaw common room door, or at least made Lily answer it a bit differently than what we had read in DH.

Otherwise I really liked everything you have going on here! It was nice and cute and I really liked the ending.

Author's Response: I'm so glad that you felt this was well written and that you felt is flowed well. At some point in time I will look at getting a beta for this but I had written it for a christmas present for someone and it had already taken awhile to finish it. As for the riddle... i'm absolutely horrible at them so i figured my best bet would be to use the one in the book. Thank you so much for reading and reviewing!

~Slytherinchica08~


Your Name:
Reason for this Report:

Examples:
  • The review is offensive.
  • The review is spam or chit-chat (not actually a review).
  • The review was double posted.
  • The review has formatting problems.
Repeat the number: 596
Submit Report: