Report a Review

This service is designed to allow HPFF users to alert the staff about inappropriate reviews.

Review:Tonks1247 says:
Hello! This is Nymphie Tonks with your requested review, which I’m sure you know ;)

I really liked this story! I’m usually a bit hesitant to read stories with Marauder character in it, but this was really good. I like the characterization you have of James and Sirius. Sirius still taking the lighter edge of things, laughing about the Death Eaters chasing them and then the whole Dumbledore’s beard getting stuck…haha, it made me laugh! And James’ character was pretty well played out.

The only thing I could suggest with both James and Sirius’ characters is to play out the emotion a bit more. More so in James, with the thought that he’s missing Harry’s first Christmas. While he understands that there will be more Christmas’ to come [The irony in that makes me wanna cry], he should still be sort of upset about that. It should bother him that he has to miss it.

Lily’s character was really well written too. I like how she conjured her Patronus for her connection to James, to help ease her worry of him. It was so sweet. And really in character [well, at least with how I view her]. So that was good.

The flow of this was really good. It moved along well, and other than needing a bit more description in with James’ emotions, that’s good too. The bits of dialogue you have in there is also very good. I didn't see anything in those two areas that needed more description or anything, so great job!

I must share my favorite line. I’m not quite sure who said it, but I liked how the dragons were referre to as ‘Giant winged lizards.’ It made me giggle just a little bit, though I'm not sure why.

And as much as I try not to end with this, I have two small nitpicky things. :p [I know it looks like a lot, but it’s only because I quote a sentence or two of the story to show what I mean :p]

“Despite the growing distress at their marks escaping them, laughter could be heard from the two figures, both with black hair, as they slowly broke away from the pack of masked individuals chasing them.” –This sentence was sort of confusing. The first part of it, I was quite lost about. It might just be the wording and me being tired…marks are referring to James and Sirius, correct?

“Matching smirks slowly spread across their faces as they turned on the spot with a small ‘pop’, leaving their assailants’ howling at waning moon when they discovered they were nowhere to be found in the frost-covered valley.” –With this one, you use the word ‘they’ to describe both the death eaters and James and Sirius. Which is mildly confusing between the word is used 3 different times and figuring out which ‘they’ you were talking about was mildly difficult.

But really, other than those few small things, I really enjoyed reading this. Great job! :D


Author's Response: *breaths a sigh of relief that you liked it even though you don't like Marauders*

I was worried there for a bit. But i'm thrilled that you like it, and thanks so much for the review! Knowing that you aren't keen on the characters but that you reviewed it for me anyway was brilliant. Honestly, thank you.

I'll have a look at those few sentences, see if I can fix them up a bit.

Cheers for the review and for getting around to it so quickly. It means a lot ^_^

Your Name:
Reason for this Report:

  • The review is offensive.
  • The review is spam or chit-chat (not actually a review).
  • The review was double posted.
  • The review has formatting problems.
Repeat the number: 200
Submit Report: