Aw! That was so incredibly sad!! Remus is such a kind person, but I can't imagine ever having to make a decision like he did. Thank god Harry told him to go back to Tonks in the book. If I was her, I would have been so completely angry at him!
Anyway, this story was very good! You seemed to use the perfect amount of description (it's easy for a story like this to go into detail overkill). It also flowed very nicely. Good job!
I'm glad that you kept going back and forth between Remus' heart and his head. It kept the situation more real and alive then. Good touch! I also loved how Remus rationalized with himself that he had to go help Harry. Remus is the one person who truly knows Ron, Hermione and Harry are probably more capable of taking down Voldemort than any other wizard, but he still rationalizes to help them so he can save Tonks. I loved it!
To be honest, I can't really think of anything to say negative about this. Your grammar was very good. Spelling too. And your characters were all very well put together. Great job! It's very rare when I don't have any criticism. Way to stump me!!
Have a great day!
Author's Response: Thank you so much! I agree with you, I am so glad Harry shouted sense back into Lupin in Grimmauld Place. He was being an absolute idiot leaving Tonks, and when I read that part of the book I was just shocked really. But then I tried to see things from his point of view and this story is sort of my exploration of what went through his head when he made that choice, I mean he's not a bad guy at all, so I fgured he only left because he thought it was the right thing to do. I don't think I blame him entirely for making the choice he did, his choice was prompted by 30-something years of being treated like an animal, 30-something years of terror and loneliness and self-depreciation. It was society's fault mainly or at least a bit anyway...
Anyhow, I am so glad you thought this story was good. The first draft was actually so bad it was cringe-worthy, and even made me feel really bad about my writing skills (or lack there of!) generally, just because it was so pathetic. I am actually starting to cringe now thinking about it, would you believe! As the story stands now though, I really think it is much better and a lot stronger. And, as such, I am very glad you thought it was OK too, because that sort of confirms my feeling that I've finally got the story right this time! I am also very relieved that you thought the characters were well put together, because in the first attempt I focused so much on Lupin that I forgot about Tonks and she just came across as this empty and weak 1-D character, so I am glad you didn't point out any problems in her characterisation this time!
I am also glad you liked how I rationalised Lupin wanting to go and help Harry. I was really going for the 'greater good' idea. If he left, his family would be safe. If he left he could protect Harry (because let's face it, Lupin does love Harry and has a type of uncle-nephew relationship with him, and doesn't want Harry to die!) and help him bring down Voldemort, thus ensuring that Tonks and Teddy (and Harry!!!) remained safe forever.
Anyway, thanks so much for taking the time to review my story, I really appreciate it! I am so glad you thought the re-write was OK and that you didn't have any criticisms to make, trust me, if you had read draft one, you would have have LOADS of criticism to give! Thank you so much for reviewing and putting my mind at ease with regards to this story.
Thank you so much, and have a great day yourself now,
ps. meant to say, love your pen-name!!! ;)