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Review:sophie_hatter says:
So, I really enjoyed this chapter. I saw your note about reworking it from a one-shot into a short story, and I never saw it in it's first incarnation, so I'm here fresh.

I loved the concept - James and Fred on a mad-cap scheme, with help from their sensible friend. And I'm a sucker for a romance, especially where friends realise there is more at stake than just friendship, so this was right up my street.

I thought the flow was really good, and as every your dialogue was great (I'm also a fan of Capers, so I knew this would be good:-)).

I think If there was one piece of CC I would make, it's that the pacing was a little off. I would have liked to see a little more framing of James and Ellian's friendship before he started to see her as more than a friend. As it stands, it feels a little rushed.

The acid test of any story is always whether I want to read the next chapter, and in this case, I certainly do. I really enjoyed it, and I'm excited to read more.

Author's Response: Thank you! :) It was really quite the silly (re: completely implausible) concept, but I couldn't help but adore the James I had written in here, so I decided to rewrite it. And another person who's read Capers! :D It's quite interesting, actually, because this was the first next gen that I had written so I got a lot of my next gen characterizations from here.

That always bothered me too. I actually have a separate James and Ellian novella plunny, but I'll probably never get to it D: This oneshot is actually a lot less about their romance as much as it is James being silly James, so i hope the short story as a whole will be a bit better with the flow :) although I ought to finish it...

Thank you! :)

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