Hi there! VioletBlade here from the forums with your long, long, long overdue review. No doubt you’d given up on me, and you’d be in the right to do so, but I just looked at my review thread randomly and realized how many people I was letting down so I decided to get to them all.
So, to start off, I thought this was a very interesting piece and definitely not the type of thing I usually read, but it was actually very interesting! I think Narcissa is one of those characters in the book that really was not represented enough, in my opinion so I'm glad you decided to write something from her POV.
Language: Though you could possibly have been a little more descriptive in the way you wrote this story to add some spark to it, the overall language was good and moved the story along just fine!
Characterization: It was a very different, shocking insight into a well-known character in the HP series, and I liked how you did it. Some of the things I had a problem with were the "'Cause", "Okay", and the way she was shocked at the fact that her husband was a Death Eater. I think, coming from the Black family and being the sister of Bellatrix, that it would have been a very big oversight for her not to have seen what was going on. However, you did get me with the look into her past and the problems she's had with guys cheating on her. It honestly broke my heart a little for her. But I admire the way you painted her, that she would sacrifice her own happiness in her marriage to make sure her son had the very best life he could possibly have.
Grammar: Nothing really stood out to me much in this department, except possibly the over-usage of italics. I think it took more away from the story than added to it, and usually italics are used to make a strong point. Other than that, everything look okay to me! :)
Plot: Again, it was a different take into a character that I think deserved more of an insight into her life. It was a nice, short piece that got me thinking about the way she became the woman she was-- even leading up to the fateful moment where she decides not to betray Harry Potter because of the love she has for her son. That is what she lives for.
Author's Response: Hey! First off, thanks a lot for taking the time to read & review :)
Narcissa is one of my favorite characters and that's why I decided to write her, I like to experiment with her, and I'm glad it worked :)
I am happy to hear that the language was good. If I do an edit, I'll make it a point to improve on my description :)
Well, about her being shocked at the DE thing, I don't think the fact that he was a death eater shocked/hurt her that much. In my opinion, what I wanted to portray was, the fact that Lucius hid the fact that he'd become a DE from her. Yeah I know, the cheating breaks my heart too. I am glad you like the way I painted her.
Hmm I'll look into what I can do about the italics. Thanks for pointing it out :D
Good to know you found the plot plausible!
I am so thankful for your comments. They really make me feel good. Thank you so much!