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Review:VioletBlade says:
Hi there! VioletBlade here from the forums with your long, long, long overdue review. No doubt you had given up on me, and you would be in the right to do so, but I just looked at my review thread randomly and realized how many people I was letting down so I decided to get to them all.


Language: I will be blunt with you, just because I will make up for it later, I promise! To really attract readers, the first chapter of a story must, must, must be gripping. And to me, the beginning really was not all that gripping. This couple is on the run from Death Eaters, and yet I felt as if they were in no particular hurry, in no particular danger, and thus I felt as if I was slightly let down because of it.

Characterization: Charles Wood: I have mixed feelings about this character. On the one hand, he says he does not see Oliver as a blessing at all, rather an inconvenience, which to me screams 'jerk!'. I do understand that the baby came at a rather violent time in Wizarding history, but to me, any caring father would look at the bundle in his arms and feel nothing but concern and love for his child—especially if he loves its mother. And I can see that Charles cares, just not as much as he should. He does get worried that the baby is sick, and does want to care for his family, which is good, but still, he just struck me wrong I guess.

I might comment on the other characters later on in the story, but there just was not enough of Elaine or Oliver really to do an analysis on them.

Grammar: There were a few grammar mistakes here and there, and you might possibly want to invest in asking for a beta for the story if you wanted to improve it. However, nothing was so bad that it took away from the story at all, so that is very important.

Plot: I am a little confused as to why the Woods had to hide so deeply from society. I mean, they are Purebloods, which would mean that even though they did not necessarily side with Voldemort, neither would they really have been harmed. He does not enjoy harming Pureblood families. And I believe that is what you are insinuating the Wood family is, correct? On the other hand, it is a very different perspective on what Oliver’s life was like growing up, and it is refreshing to see that maybe he did not have quite that perfect life like everyone thinks. And it gives a new side to him, even though we have not met the Oliver we know from the series.

Overall, I think you have a good start to the story, and perhaps if you found a beta to fix some of the grammar issues and whatnot, it would really add more to the first chapter.

Sorry again for the awful wait and I hope I was somewhat helpful!

~VioletBlade

Author's Response: Thank you for the lengthy review! You were extremely helpful :) I will find a Beta for this story as soon as I can finish edit my other novel.

I wanted to give Oliver another perspective, I mean I don't think he's some mindless jock plus I wanted to explore why he was so into Quidditch amongst other things.

Again thank you and sorry I couldn't write a longer response (I just don't know what to say) and I'll take your advice about the prologue.


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